Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

  • Hi Occulties!

    The Children’s Hospital in Boston is offering a wishlist for the children who were injured in the recent bombings during the Boston Marathon. All you have to to is click this link to go to this wishlist, find one (or more) of the toys/games that you would like to purchase for a child, and purchase it. You will really help these kids know there are a lot of people who care and want to see them get better…plus I’ve been stuck in the hospital as a child (and as an adult before) and heck…it’s so boring. The least these traumatized children need is an escape from scary memories as well as something to break with the tedium.

    Please help out by clicking this link if you can – I know a child (or children if you’re really feeling generous) will appreciate your charity immeasurably.

    Thanks,

    ~Cat

  • As Man Thinketh by James Allen is free on Kindle. It might not be up everyone’s alley but I know more than one of my readers has enjoyed this classic inspirational book. It’s pretty short, it’s free, and if you hate it, just delete it off your kindle or kindle app! πŸ™‚

  • Hi Occulties…

    Guess who gets lots of questions!? If you guessed me then you get a pretty gold star for effort. πŸ˜‰

    So let’s get this up for everyone else who’s been ever curious about the same subjects.

    Q: I did a reconciliation spell on my ex, and now s/he is with another guy/girl!? Did I mess my spell up?

    A: While I’d not really know (but could guess) from that question, there could be a few answers, and I suspect a few people have not been anxious enough to get on my case as soon as they could about a spell they or someone else cast…so I will try to cover the major possibilities (not a finite list.)

    Let’s start with the most likely.

    There is a good chance you’re just not letting it go. You’re so obsessed it’s like you are creating a dam for that energy, and that dam will not let go ever until you give up, thus making it so the spell isn’t even able to start working. Would that I could just start listing the number of clients I had who’ve come to me after they gave up, complaining the ex that they couldn’t get back is now either not leaving them alone or they keep running into that person now that they don’t want to see them (or in more than one case, both.) To be fair, if you’re bad enough with obsessing and not letting go it will never manifest. I do go over this here, and it’s a popular article. You’ll also find references to thinking it to death and lust for results. They are major spell killers and it doesn’t matter if you’re the petitioner, the spellcaster, or both.

    There is a chance you worked against your spell. I go over that in regards to reconciliation here, but also I find that people easily forget how if you act “weird” the other party will pick up on this and act awkward around you as well. If you really outdid yourself, you might have pushed that person away too far away, and it might be moot for the time being to bother working on them. You can, but if you scare someone enough, they will be too scared to come back for some time. Sometimes that’s weeks, sometimes months, sometimes years, and if you really were running down the street chasing someone with an axe sort of crazy, then maybe never. You can keep trying reconcilation spellcraft, but don’t expect instant results if you really upset the target.

    Maybe you didn’t do the best spell or you performed the spell wrong. I find people tend to use force when it’s a bad idea (suchas the Intranquil Spirit, or a strongly coercive reconciliation spell,) or not apply the enough force if force is what is needed. There seems to be a huge imbalance on people having any tactics in the use of spellwork. It’s either throwing a stick of live dynamite on a spider hiding in your eaves to kill it, or trying to beat an elephant to death with a matchstick. On the other hand, perhaps you picked a good spell that would work well, but perhaps you were too nervous, lacked the right focus, forgot an ingredient, etc.

    Perhaps you didn’t do enough work? It should come to reason that if you really flew off the handle one small candle spell might not fix it. SOOOO many people toss a candle spell on the situation, and forget healing, communication (Ms Dara makes a fantastic blend for this by the way,) romantic love, physical love, forgiveness, etc, and not all of those might apply, as well as many other things I did not mention could apply. If you expect one simple spell to always solve all, you’re doing the equivellant of slapping a band-aid on a wound so large that guts are spilling out.

    And perhaps it’s just not yours to have. I am not the Almighty, and neither you nor I have the final say on what’s yours and what isn’t.

    Q: How much oil do I need when dressing a candle?

    A: Unless some instruction advises otherwise, generally 1-3 drops of each, depending on the size of the candle, and the type of wax. It should feel relatively slick while not being to the point of dripping oil. πŸ˜‰ With glass-cased seven-day candles, I usually stick about 1 drop in each of the holes I’ve bored in the top. I use five holes, others use 3-7.

    Q: I’m sure you’ve answered this before, but why is it bad to pray to St Expedite for love?

    A: I have answered that before – more than once even. πŸ˜‰ I guess my answer would be that it’s not so much “bad” as it is short-sighted. If you need a quick change, that might mean one which is not lasting. For example, if I need $1000 to cover my mortgage this month, I could get that extra $1000 for that one month. It does not necessarily mean that I would get the same amount every month, or even that it would materialize as a promotion or anything other than a one-time sum. Similarly with love if you say “I just want so and so to come back to me, right now, this second, and want to be with me,” you may very well just find your ex drunk as a skunk outside your door a few days later, and being as desperate as you must be to think faster results mean lasting results (often a fast change is a very tenuous or short-lived change, albeit not always,) I’ve little doubt you’d hesitate to let them in or even sleep with them, only to find a few days later they just drunken booty-called you. Even if you don’t sleep with them, they might feel snubbed and not want to come back again.

    Reconciliation is not instant, nor is love. If you want that to be effective, you need to put your work in. Just because you’re too obsessed and overwhelmed with your feelings, doesn’t mean you’re helping the situation by forcing a short-term and likely limited change. If anything you could be pushing the actual desired outcome off.

    I’m not saying it’s impossible, just short-sighted. While I do think St Expedite would help you, and perhaps it’s all you would need, more oft than not the people who ask me this or attempt this are too too too eager for the outcome, and do not realize the amount of damage which will remain unrepaired even if they are given a quick reunion. Further, I’ve heard more “oopsies” when people petition this saint for love (again, it’s often short lived insofar as outcomes, especially so when there is a lot of bullshit and skeletons in the closet and hurty feelings in play,) than have I ever heard the full desired outcome happening. I guess if you just want one more roll in the hay before figuring out if you want that person back anyhow, you might give it a try….but I would not suggest St Expedite appreciates being your pimp, so if you ask for that with an honest heart and not for love, I worry he might say no or may get upset.

    St Expedite is amazing. He’s the go-to guy with money troubles, and other troubles, but I PERSONALLY FEEL with love the problem is not that he can’t help, it’s that quick in that situation is blinding oneself to the unresolved issues that usually make someone ask St Expedite for help in love, and those very problems which are unresolved will not solve the issue keeping 2 people apart. Since those issues won’t have gone away, inevitably the end result would mean they cause seperation again.

    Q: I’m in love with a person I hardly know who works at a business I patronize, or who comes to my work as a patron. I know their name. Is that enough to make them love me and marry me?

    A: I love Ryan Gosling in the same way. You don’t see me being called Mrs Gosling, now do you?

    And realistically having never really met the man, I would go so far as to say, HOT DAMN on his sexy fine body and face, but he could be a real dick for all I know, so I don’t want to marry him. I’d like to see his man-parts because I’m human and he’s attractive. (As always Mr. Gosling, that offer stands open.) πŸ˜‰ That’s basically what you actually want (except that you must be terribly lonely) when you ask me to make someone you’ve never met and have very little personal knowledge of to fall in love with you and marry you. It’s suspect to me. Weird even. If you want someone who is your friend to take notice to you, fine. If you notice a single person who’s hot, and want their attention (to see if they are worth loving,) fine. If you want to marry a person you only know by their face more or less, then pardon me, but that’s just weird.

    Having dated some very very very fine men in my day, hot doesn’t mean they are worth knowing. In fact, sometimes someone just opens their mouth and a whole spew of jerk falls out. πŸ˜› Guess what, hot in body and in face doesn’t change the fact that an ugly heart or soul is still ugly and undesirable.

    So is it enough? No. You’ve put that cart soooooooooooo in front of the horse that I suggest you take a few steps back, and use something a bit milder to see if a few dates might be a good idea. Otherwise you’ll end up with nothing OR if you’re really lucky, you’ll end up with a dangerously obsessive psychopath who is nothing like you’d hoped who now loves you and won’t let you go.

    Q: I am having some issues with my money spells manifesting – I’ve just been using something like success and money drawing type oils. Any suggestions?

    A: Try a dressing an orangey-yellow candle (much like my skintone in the pic of me in the top left corner at this writing – me so orange!) in Crown of Success, Money Drawing, and ONE of the following three: Van-Van, Roadopener, or Blockbuster. Blockbuster would probably be more block busting than you need. I recommend Van-Van or Roadopener more than Blockbuster. Also, try adding lemongrass, bay leaf, and irish moss to the candle. It usually works quite nicely to bring in more income.

    I’m sure there are several more questions forthcoming. Sorry about the repetitive theme lately. πŸ˜‰

    ~Cat

    COPYRIGHT 2013, ORIGINALNINJACAT. See my PLAGIARISM NOTICE πŸ˜€

  • Hi all,

    While I’m completely behind all of you on the praise of St Expedite (who I agree wholeheartedly deserves as many thanks as possible – he really helps in a hurry!) I have noticed several of you leaving your comments in all capitals. This is equivellant to screaming, and while I could holler out some praises for our dear friend, Expedite on about any occaison, please do not comment in all capitals. On the internet THAT IS LIKE YELLING!! and it’s rude nettiquete and hard to read. πŸ˜‰ It’s perfectly okay to do something like leave a few lines in capitals (exclaiming in praise is AWESOME!) but do try to leave some of it in the proper grammatical form.

    Your ever-dyslexic and cranky friend,

    ~Cat

  • The 1% not fixed problem is that I had to reboot my email so if you were able to send me any mail on Sunday, I will never see it. If you sent it before 1pm today, my time (eastern), I will never see it.

    The closest to saturday would be 2-3am Sat/sunday this week that anything could have gotten lost.

    I’ve spent the last 5 hours fixing this problem. Sorry if I scared anyone. This is really embarrassing for me and I’ve been calling everyone’s customer service all day. That one bill just HAD to come out on billing day…the day every month when $500+ magically comes out for the monthly cost of this business’s utilities (minus heating) all on one day (though through different companies) and right around tax time…and on an old expiration date…because I forgot to update that last year. *facepalm* Pretty awesome. πŸ˜›

    Soooo, if it’s a day or so old, please resend it.

    Thanks for your patience everyone. πŸ™‚

    ~Cat

  • To all of you who think I can fart out a million dollars because I wiggle my nose to make it happen, or think I’m enough of a low life to kill a child in the womb, or who think I sit here all day in my mansion drinking margaritas instead of sometimes waiting for payments so I can pay a utility bill (but yet I still say no to ridiculous requests when I need the $$$ all the same,) this is a must read. I think a lot of you who’ve contacted me recently really miss how difficult this job really is when done honestly. Please give it a read.


    One More for the Road – by Karma Zain

    I also liked her post on spiteful saints. πŸ™‚ it’s right above or below the above-linked post, and I strongly recommend giving it a read.

    Happy reading!

    ~Cat

    PS- I realize I used the verb “to read” overmuch. It’s 10ish and my coffee wore off a few hours ago. Coffee = life force and creativity. Don’t judge. πŸ˜‰

  • I’ll say it for the millionth time….

    I am very very learned in many of the world’s religions. If you are not familiar with a practice I give when discussing how to work with saints IN A ROOTWORKING WAY, and sometimes in a traditional FOLK CATHOLIC FASHION, then keep on praying like you do, and keep your bigoted and/or ignorant commentary off my blog.

    This is a rootwork blog, not a Christianity or Catholic blog. The information presented is to assist people in methods I have found useful that are from African Diasporic Practices’ influence, or a belief among particular groups of Catholics when I speak of saints. Just because YOU have never seen this, it does not at all mean that it is not COMMON or ACCEPTED by more than one LARGE group/s of people.

    If you do not appreciate what I am teaching, go away. You can start a blog about what a turd I am if it makes you feel better. I really don’t care. I have studied religions with a passion for years, I have studied folk magic practices from around the globe, I have studied high and grimoiric traditions as well… I assure you, if you want to go toe to toe with me in a religious argument, I am pretty sure I’m prepared to take you on. πŸ™‚

    Again, this is the rootworking blog, and not the Catholic blog or the “arguing with protestants” blog, either. πŸ˜› Heck, I actually try to present much of this without any religious context for all my readers, since several of them are not, in any fashion, Christians. πŸ™‚

    ~Cat

  • Dear Occulties,

    I beg my long-term-reader’s forgiveness here. Apparently several new readers are really quite incapable of going through the archives, so I am no doubt going to repeat myself on old topics. πŸ˜›

    The following represents what I keep getting in my inbox and comments section (on multiple articles) for questions lately.
    IMG_1372

    Q: I want to know how to use the moon in Hoodoo! Is the full moon what I want to use for reconciliation/drawing a new love? Blah blah blah the moon? The moon, moon, moon! Solar traditions be damned, something something something the moon!?

    A: Sometimes I’m very happy none of you can see my face here on the other side of my monitor.

    So, let’s start out with something I’ve said ad nauseum for the last…8 years? Or is it more? Hmmm, well either way, let’s start out with that. Hoodoo is a practice which has it’s roots in Africa, most likely from the Bantu peoples, and is therefore more largely centered on SOLAR rather than lunar tradtions, in my (and several others’) humble opinion. A LARGE PERCENTAGE of people I know who practice mostly Hoodoo and/or African Diasporic Tradtions, don’t even give a flying tossing fuck about what day it is and what the goddamn moon is doing – they might observe it more depending on what spell they are using, but often it’s not a concern. Of those that observe the (WESTERN IDEAL) of plantary days and hours, several of them consider THOSE over the moon’s passage through the heavens. AND of those who consider the moon, this is so fucking easily worked around, that often they don’t even consider the damn moon. If they do? Well, it’s great if that’s working for you and you have the time to work it in. BUT, of many of my peers who practice ATR’s (African-diasporia-related practices) it would seem many of them think that I give way too many fucks over what the moon and planets are doing and what hour and what day it is.

    What does that tell you? Because if you’ve dealt with me when asking a moon question, you could probably hear my eyes rolling as I typed to you. I’m sure you were like: “Are there marbles rolling around on the floor when I hit that send button?” No no, that was me rolling my eyes at your question…so what does that tell you about me and lunar correspondences? Either it tells you I think you are misinformed of such things (which an astounding amount of you are,) or it tells me that you are way too over-concerned about the lunar correspondence (which an astounding amount of you are,) or it tells me that you think I have an unlimited amount of time to discuss the movement of the planetary bodies through the heavens and how their use, if not mandatory because of the paradigm you’re working in, could be used to aid your spellcraft which does not require said knowledge (I don’t teach Ceremonialism, Enochianism, or Grimoiric spellcraft, so to be fair, this would be outside of what many of you require to adeptly work in Hoodoo.)

    BUT, it’s the pink elephant in the room. It’s in the archives, more than once I think, but I do understand that would mean you would be required to use some of your own effort, and goodness forbid I actually make some of my readers work to learn anything. πŸ˜‰

    So, to over simplify using the most recent questions I’ve received:
    The full moon is absolutely not going to help on a spell to BRING YOU something. This stupid idea is one I do not understand how it came to be. If someone tells you the best day to bring your ex back is the friday nearest to the full moon, you should drive over to their house and just punch them in the face.

    Why?

    Because lunar movement is used as so – and this is quite the over simplification, and I do go over the moon in detail in a questions you’ve asked me from 08 I think it is. Look in those nifty ARCHIVES (HINT)…

    A little more than a day after the NEW (or black moon) you might notice a tiny sliver of moon in the sky. It will, in approximately 2 weeks, grow into a full moon. This movement is what you want. So, if it’s Friday (in Western spellcraft the day of Venus,) and the moon was NEW (black) 2 days previous, the best day to do that spellcraft to bring an ex back is that friday right there. See, I want the MOVEMENT or TRANSITION of the lunar body from appearing “new” to when it goes to “full” to help move my spell energy with it’s transition. So you want sometime in the FIRST QUARTER (day after new to half full,) to properly use the lunar body to BRING SOMETHING OR RETURN SOMETHING TO YOU. If you use the second quarter to the full moon, you have far less energy on that influence. I was taught it is better to use the movement after the first quarter, OR THE SECOND QUARTER (day after first quarter to full,) to full to KEEP SOMETHING WITH YOU, not to INCREASE it’s influence or BRING someting, albeit you could use it as such, it just has far less energy than using day after new to first quarter.

    So let’s look at a full moon. What is that moon doing? Is it growing more? Nope. If it’s not going to get bigger, but only going to start shrinking, how does that GROW the energy of our work to BRING a thing to us? Oh, it doesn’t.

    Now let’s look at REMOVING AN INFLUENCE or TAKING AWAY something. So the day after that moon is full, what does it start doing? It starts to appear to shrink. So let’s say I really hate my neighbor, and I want them and their influence to LEAVE my life. I don’t want to harm them, I want them to leave. I would use a particular day close to being after the FULL moon and before the third quarter then.

    Do you see how this is going? Many of you are thinking backwards. Since many of you are newbs, I’d like you to consider it as such… The full and the new moon are not going to be useful to you for several things at this point, because you’re still learning how to use the lunar correspondences to aid the spell energy. You’re confused on what they represent, and to be fair, it’s not movement…at least how I was taught. To BRING you use the nearest “good day” after the new (black) and to take away or remove you use the nearest “good day” after the full (white.) Start with those 2 ideas, and soon, if you really like the use of the moon, and you read the archives of this blog (*another hint dropped, lol*) you will find how to use all four quarters as expertly as possible, as well as the new and the full moon. πŸ™‚ But if you’re lackadaisical, you really should just stick with “best day after new” and “best day after full” for your integration of using the lunar body to aid with your spellcraft.

    IMG_0161THAT SAID, the moon is not often all that relevant in Hoodoo, and the majority of what I teach is Hoodoo (yet another hint dropped.) πŸ™‚

    Q: Will a saint kick my behind or attack me if I make a bad request to them or are in some way disrespectful to them?

    A: While I’ve known a saint (particularly Expedite,) to take back what was given, this was not done in a cruel way like the statue animated and screamed “FUCK YOU,” nor was anyone attacked – spiritually, physically, etc. I have also known a saint not to give someone something requested because that person did not “pay up” with whatever gift was offered to a saint – and I’ve seen this happen in situations where the first request was granted, but the saint was unpaid so the second was not, or where the first request was not granted for the not giving of the gift. I’ve known the answer to a petition to a saint to be “No.” I’ve also known a saint to not help because someone was acting rude and uncouth towards the saint.

    HOWEVER, never ever ever ever ever have I PERSONALLY seen a saint harm someone maliciously for making a request of them. Yes, sometimes something was taken back (Expedite is known for this if not properly rewarded,) but there was no additional spiritual attack. I have heard rumors that some people due to their sex or their character should not petition certain saints or should not expect help from those saints…. I would say in those cases, that if you do not have a relationship with that saint, it may be better to err on the side of caution. NOT because I believe the saint will harm you, but because you probably have no relationship with that saint anyhow, and you might as well pick one who isn’t apt to find something about you disturbing, and refuse to work for you.

    While I’m sure someone will want to naysay me in the comments, I’m going to say it’s incredibly unlikely to the point of being incredibly improbable, that a recognized Catholic saint (as in the Catholic Church recognizes that person or being as a saint,) will harm or attack you.

    Q: I am sad because I saw you and Karma making fun of my review site. Why are you so mean? My intentions were not bad, so don’t you think you’re out of line?

    A: No, I don’t feel I was cruel or out of line. I’ll even link to that so everyone can see what you’re kvetching about.

    See, now this is my personal issue with “review” scams, be they well-intentioned or absolutely fake…

    Let’s start with the people who vet the lists on the well-intentioned ones would be much like if I instructed you on how to fix a rocket that goes into space. I have some idea of how that works, but I am not a rocket scientist, and if you saw the damn things I came out with in wood shop in the 7th grade, I’m quite certain you’d not even trust me to build a damn spice rack. πŸ™‚ It would seem construction of vehicles and of furniture is not my forte, which isn’t surprising, since I never ever ever did study it, or even practice it much – I never ever tried building a vehicle, much less one that is to transit outside of the Earth’s atmosphere. On that note… I can think of a wonderful carpenter who is a sexy beast that I know quite well…even if he blathered on about carpentry and contracting in general for the next 12 weeks discussing nothing else whatsoever to me, I’d still be a complete knob on the subject. Maybe by that point I’d know more than the average bear who doesn’t at all work in contracting or carpentry and never did, but I certainly would not go about acting as if I was an expert who can vet who’s good at such things, who has a talent and how awesome they are with their business (note the person referenced above is a sexy beast which probably is part of the reason I think he’s awesome, therefore is not actually a good method of vetting his talent at his trade.) Why? I’m not a fucking carpenter or contractor. I dated a male nurse long ago, but I’m not a fucking nurse, and I’d give more creedence to his medical advice then mine own. My dad is a lawyer, and I do know more than the average bear about American-, and particularly New Hampshire-, law, but I am not a lawyer and cannot advise as well as a lawyer can about what the laws are. Usually I just call my lawyer or my father if I need legal advice. I don’t consult with someone married to a lawyer, related to a lawyer, or who once used a lawyer for my legal needs.

    Is my long tanget going somewhere? Of course. See, someone who used a spellcaster once, or read a book once, likes crapity books that they are too naive to tell are JUST CRAP, or cast like 5 candle spells, or maybe used a few spellkits is in no way, shape, or form anyone who is an expert on spells or spellcasting. Now, I’m going to dig deeper…someone who tries out a few spellcasters who has little or no knowlege regarding the occult, or who is only centric to one type of religion/occult (like Wicca, for example, which is not in any way related to Hoodoo, and would therefore not be a good thing to compare Hoodoo with,) would have a difficult time vetting anything about any spellcaster outside of their chosen field of narrow focus, if they ever studied the arts at all. An astrologer who only ever studied astrology, would be a terrible judge of Palo. They’d be as clueless as can be. That guy who used a thousand psychics? Maybe he’s good with telling you what psychics he felt were on point, but he’s not going to have the experience or knowledge (IMHO) to tell you which Hermetic Mage is just name-dropping with Goetic spirits, and who’s actually had full manifestation. It’s no different than me having a loose understanding of carpentry, or of law, or of health because of my own experience and acting as if I’m as learned on those topics as an expert in those topics.

    Further, the idea that anyone who can spellcast can take on 10-20 new requests a day sure as shit sounds as false as the Easter Bunny giving me Christmas presents, because…that’s like assuming the carpenter builds 25 sets of stairs (and I mean full sets of stairs, 25 of them,) in 2 hours. πŸ˜› Or perhaps a brain surgeon fixes 45 brains in 3 hours, because like, he said so. πŸ˜›

    So as you can see, naivity is a bad instructor. Furthermore, a non-expert opinion on who is and isn’t “real” is a bit like having your old friend Cat here build you a spice rack (that is crooked and scary, but I took wood shop years ago, so like, I totally know what I’m doing, right?) And lastly believing that a real spellcaster can have a zillion active cases or WANTS that many is wrong. Most of us that I know go through weeks where we work 12 hour days easily, and if you think we need another obsessive crying jag to make that day last 14 hours instead, you would be mistaken. At least among the workers I know.

    What I’m saying is, pardon me, but my professional opinion of those sites is low NOT BECAUSE THEY HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS (good intentions are a good thing, of course,) but the opinions there on what makes a real spellcaster and what doesn’t are so often so far from the reality of what does make a real spellcaster and what doesn’t, that I think they are more harmful than they are good. I’ve seen people I know are as “real” as the nose on my face (and I have a nose on my face at this writing, lol) in the “fake” list, and even more fakes than real people in the “real” list. This is not because the siteowner means ill, and I think their intentions are honest and good. This is because those being given the “right” to judge are often not knowledgeable enough to vet who is and who isn’t “real,” and they depend on the commentary of people even less expert than themselves to help vet who is real and who isn’t. If you want to trust those sites, they DO list some good real people, but you best be quite careful, because as I said, they also list fakes in the real list and real people in the fake list. :/

    Moving along….

    So, I had mentioned there are fake review sites made by workers. Or supposedly vetted by experts on their craft. – I’m going to stand out here and just abstain from speaking of sites where a lot of “experts” (some of who I’d quantify more as “intermediate” but who are still apt to be far more of an expert than 90% of my readership) work together as a unified whole. That is not counted here. πŸ˜› – What I am speaking of are fake review sites made by people posing as their own clients, or workers who frequently list “real and fake” people in a list on their business site. Again, if they are part of a unified group, I don’t count that. What I mean is there will be one toolbox who is working 5 sites (same person pretending to be 5 people) listing themselves as the only real worker/s, and everyone else is a fraud because they say so. πŸ˜› This scam used to be far more common. The problem here is most workers who are ethical do not like to slam other workers. Sometimes we get aggravated by an obvious fake selling “Gypsy Faery Voodoo Wicca Grecian Buddhist Black Magic Luv Spells,” but by and large no ethical worker will list everyone they think is likely a scammer…because that’s unethical. It’s like if Pepsi only made commercials about how Coca Cola was rat poision, and if Coke turned around and told you in every commercial that Pepsi is made with dog pee. You’d be turned off by it, and want neither product. It would show low ethics on the part of the company. MOST ethical workers I know, if not all, do not lower themselves to frequently naming names on who is the biggest charlatan this week. They do not bad-mouth the frauds. They sometimes will discuss peers who are friends, and do not want to list every real worker because in doing so, some people (very confused people) think it’s your fault for recommending a merchant, so in your recommendation you must act as the customer service for any site. Further, if you outwardly recommend a business, then if you reject someone for being disgusting, insane, or hopeless (which believe me, is common enough to be a concern, and there are some really vile people out there – if you’re concerned you are one, you’re probably not, and have NOTHING to worry about) they will look up your links and bug the shit out of your friends. Which is why some clients have such bad reputations that other workers are warned before that client makes contact with any other worker. Yes, clients get reputations too. πŸ˜›

    So how do you avoid being defrauded? First, don’t use google. Second, don’t use review sites. Third, learn a bit about your prospective worker. Ask the worker questions. Study a bit about their type of spellcraft. Fourth, be wary of anyone who sells anything that says it’s Gypsy Voodoo Faery Wicca, or etc. Faery Wicca might make sense. Gypsy is more like a race of people who are often Eastern Orthodox, the Romanii. Voodoo is a religion, and though it has offshoots that are not Haitian Voodoo (which means the person had to be kanzoed in Haiti,) I have not yet seen a good example of Wicca Voodoo because both are religions, and neither share much syncretism from my perspective. If you can clearly show me a reasonable example of Wiccan Voodoo or Voodoo Wicca, and it doesn’t sound like ass-hattery, by all means, correct me. My experience is that with Voodoo of most types it seems to find the most syncretism with Catholic and “Catholic lite” religions.

    I know you’re asking “Why not use Google because Google is always right, isn’t it?” if you are, I will strongly suggest you read the above linked (and here linked) commentary between Miz Karma and yours truly in her comments section of that article.

    So…do I feel I’m mean or out of line in criticizing such sites. I appreciate the good intentions behind some of them quite a bit. It does not mean I believe they are reaching their aim or helping lots of workers and lots of clients. Good intentions are a great thing, but sometimes they just pave the path to hell. Maybe that’s my personal experience and not your own. If I’ve alienated anyone in saying as much, then just go on thinking I’m a cranky mean bitch, because to use a bit of text-speak, I am not speaking from a point of naivity, nor of hate, so if you’re that over-sensitive, idgaf if I hurt your feelings…I assume you’d probably go into shock if the sun hits you if I just hurt your feelings, because that’s waaaay too sensitive. πŸ™‚

    Q: Why is my spell not working? I cast it according to your blog, and it hasn’t worked yet.

    IMG_0178A: Firstly, while I’m glad to clarify my own instructions, spell coaching is not a free service. I do not give substitutions very often (sometimes if I’m not too busy I will, but that’s a bit like waiting for a shooting star, lol,) and I don’t find spells or stores for you to use very often if at all, so… if you need that sort of advice, or you already got 2 pages from me in response (which is at least an hour of unpaid work from me usually,) then I suggest you ask for some paid advice…as in offer to pay me for my time since this job is how I make my living. I cannot, unfortunately, pay my bills giving away hours and hours of my time for free to instruct you. I’m glad to get on the phone or write it out if you’re willing to pay me for my time, however.

    Secondly, if you’re willing to spend the time letting me know how long it was since you cast, if you’ve ever read this article (the main reasons for spell failure that I’ve seen,) exactly what the problem is you need to fix, and how long this has been going on before you first tried spellcasting, whatever other spells you’ve done, and (if it wasn’t the only spell you tried) which spell of mine you did with a link and how long since you did that spell, and you can write this for me and reasonably assume it will take less than 15 minutes for me to reply, then I *might* be able to help FOR FREE. I am not ungenerous with short answers. πŸ˜‰

    Thirdly, I want you to keep in mind sometimes the answer is you can’t have what you want. I am not God, Goddess, the Divine, the Universe, Jesus, Buddha, Vishnu or any other being who is your holy conceirge, or who determines who gets what. Sometimes the answer is you can’t have that. It’s not going to happen. I am sorry if this is disappointing, but take your complaints to the Almighty/Spirit/God/Universe/etc.

    My point here is that I present information, and you can use this to your benefit. I do not guarantee results from any spells herein because I am not the final authority on who gets what. That being/energy/force would be far above my own station. I merely am presenting spellwork that has worked for me and for others, much of which is my own original creation. πŸ™‚

    Q: I do not pray to Satan. Why do you? Aren’t you scared of hell?

    A: Having never – in my memory – bent the knee to any being called Satan, I can’t really quantify that I can say I’ve prayed to Satan, therefore I don’t get your point. I suppose it is possible I’ve had discussions or interactions with beings you consider to be unholy because you have a religious bigotry clouding your mind. I do however, have a great dislike and distrust of anyone who assumes immediately that anyone who is not practicing a particular type of religion is therefore working for the evil trickster God you worship by fearing him/her/it. So, I am not afraid of going to hell, and the only mention I can think of recently where I said “Satan” in prayer was the following Prayer to St Michael:

    “Saint Michael the Archangel, protect us in battle. Be our protection from wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him, we humbly pray. And do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, thrust into hell Satan and all other evil spirits who wander the world seeking the ruin and destruction of souls. Amen.”

    Huh, that doesn’t really sound like a satanitc prayer….so nope, no idea of what you are talking about, though that question of yours does seem a touch ignorant. πŸ™‚

    Q: I don’t think you’re a real rootworker, because I think you’re mean. Why do you call yourself a rootworker? (to be fair, this is the same person as the praying to Satan knob.)

    A: Kindness and niceness have no correlation to magical ability, so that is irrelevant, and yes I’m a real rootworker. Lucky for you I’m not as mean as you think, because if I were, you’d be dying of a wasting disease no one can cure right now, rather than just living your life as fine and as healthy as can be as a rude, stupid ignorant knob like you are. πŸ™‚

    Q: Would you kill my rival’s unborn baby for me?

    A: I WILL NEVER HARM A CHILD. Only a low life piece of shit would kill an innocent unborn baby because they are jealous of a rival. If you think that I would lower myself to being a murderess because you’re jealous, then you’re talking to the wrong woman. I do not kill innocents because you feel like someone hurt you by getting pregnant. What did that baby do to you? It got conceived? And that is the baby’s fault and not the fault of the man or the woman who had sexual intercourse? Oh, it’s their fault? But you’d kill an innocent child just to have your way. You’d murder a fucking baby because you need to have your way? GTFO out of my virtual office, and I truly hope something falls out of the sky and kills you for requesting such a thing. You are one evil little fucking worthless sack of shit to want to do such a thing to another woman’s unborn child just because you’re a jealous twat. I truly want no contact with you, ever ever ever.

    Now what if it’s you’re pregnant? You don’t want that baby? Honey, that’s your problem. There are all sorts of choices you have available to you, including, probably, terminating that pregnancy medically. I think that’s your chioice, and you do what you see fit. But it won’t be anything I help you with magically. I don’t want to know what you did or why you did it. If you got raped and got pregnant, yeah I feel badly for you, I do. But you have to decide what’s right for you, and keep my spells out of it, hun. I’m sorry, I’m not the magical abortionist. I’m also not going to tell you to keep it, or to give it up for adoption, or whatever. It’s up to you, search your heart and your soul, and you do what feels right for you. It might not be what I would choose, but I’m not you, it’s not my body, and it’s not my choice.

    Oh No Bad MojoFor the rest of you wondering why this came up, no less than seven fucking jealous twats (who I sincerly hope live cursed lives) asked me to kill an unborn child in their rivals’ wombs in February alone. I truly hope that they never get their wishes for such a thing, and while not generally nearly vindictive as I might come off, I do also wish them a lifetime of misfortune and misery if they do get their way. πŸ™‚ I seriously consider this the lowest of the low and have no polite words to discuss these degenterates, so I apologize for the language, but each one of them made me want to barf as soon as I saw their inquiries because they are such horrid examples of human nature that they truly deserve no kindness from me or anyone else.

    And I do have sympathy for women with their own unwanted pregnancies but there are solutions to that problem that are in no way requiring magical intervention (no one asked me for an aborteficent this month, but I’ve heard it before,) and to be fair, it’s never ever going to be my job to tell you what decisions to make concerning your own body. I personally do not want to help kill a child, and I can respect that it’s your decision to terminate or to keep the pregnancy, and I judge you on neither action (because it’s not my business,) but I’m not going to help you terminate a pregnancy. Sorry. :/

    Q: I heard you reject like 90% of the business coming your way, if not more, but then you always seem so busy – how is that?

    A: I’m very thorough with my active clients – or I try to be. Admittedly some are super quiet and I don’t speak to them enough because I don’t know thier concerns if they do not share them.

    It’s not easy to become one of my clients, but I do have several active cases at any time, and I do try to make sure I work with those people as best I can. It can be a time consuming process. One high maintenance person will take the time of 5-10 average clients, so I’m busy. I prefer return business (that was never banned – and if you’re banned I will ignore you,) so a lot of those who propose we work on their problem are people I’ve worked with frequently in the past.

    Plus, just rejecting people or giving 10 minutes of free spell advice is also time consuming.

    Soooo….I have more business than I can handle sometimes. It would be unethical and unrealistic to take even half my currrent inquires because not enough time in the day exists to help those people, and sadly more than a few do not bother to read instructions, nor do they have realistic requests, so I do have to say no if it’s obvious they are problematic or I feel their request is outside my ability, or even the ability of anyone else in some cases. πŸ˜‰

    *****

    I’m sorry if many of these questions were not instructive enough. Unfortunately my inbox, as of late, has been filled more with what NINJACAT here will and won’t do and what my opinion of this or that is….perhaps SOON I can get some more practice and theory of HOODOO and SPELLCRAFT questions and less of these questions more relating to my business. I do hope so. πŸ˜‰

    Thanks for reading!

    ~Cat

    This work, in its entirety, is copyright protected and cannot be copied, copied and pasted, or shared or used without the author’s (my) express written permission. ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVED (I also took the photos, so hands off.)

    What happens if you steal, copy, plagiarize or in some way infringe on my copyright? Click here to find out!

  • I absolutely loved this article, – I’m especially guilty of #2. In the last year or two, I’ve forgotten 3 birthdays (I never forget birthdays,) and replied to 5 different friends I’ve had FOREVER days after being contacted. I’ve no doubt more than one of my friends was quite peeved that I forgot to say congratulations on getting married/giving birth/living to 30 because I was too busy telling people that I couldn’t bring their ex they dated in 1992 back to them or because someone decided to give me a speech about how my love of spells was some insult to their love of Jesus. πŸ˜›

    The bad thing being I don’t think I care all that much if people hate me for any of it. πŸ˜‰ I can think of times I’ve been peeved at someone because of the reasons mentioned in the article, but I don’t recall it turning into full blown hate.

    Either way, I found it amusing. Enjoy. πŸ™‚

    ~C

  • Hi Occulties,

    Well, I’ve been trying to write a spell article, but of course people (many of whom I guarantee will be absolutely positively incapable of extending the effort to educate or help themselves since some of them can’t even locate directions in bold red type on the very form they are filling out, therefore will never absorb – or even likely see – this valuable information, heh,) need me to post what I would have HOPED was common sense in many cases. Apparently in those many cases it is not common sense. πŸ˜‰

    So, in no numbered order, let’s review what you or someone you might know may be doing right now to completely fuck up their reconciliation – and many of these can be applied whether or not you’re using spellwork to speed that reconciliation along.

    SO IF YOU ARE DOING ANY OF THE BELOW, YOU CAN ALMOST GUARANTEE YOUR EX IS NEVER EVER GOING TO RETURN (or at least they won’t any time soon.) πŸ˜‰

    Constantly whining to others I know what some of you are thinking… “How is it, Cat, that my bitching to my best friend about how so-and-so hurt me, and totally failed me, but I still love him/her is in any way harmful to my reconciliation or reconciliation spellwork?”

    Well, for starters, anything you ever say about another human being to any other human being on this planet is highly likely to get back to the person you’re talking about in some form. I’ve been fond of telling people for years that you should never say or write anything to anyone unless you don’t care if it’s posted on the news tonight at 5p. Every bit of sniping or talking behind someone’s back is very likely to get back to them. So, if you call me a bitch to your best friend, your best friend might tell her boyfriend, who may tell his best friend who just happens to be my cousin, and hey, who’s calling? Hey, is that me? Oh, hi, I’ve come to ask why you’re talking shit about me behind my back. So, why is it you’re telling people I’m a bitch? Please enlighten me.

    And that’s what happens when you run your mouth about your ex – some of it (sometimes a lot of it,) goes right back to your ex. Maybe you talk to someone like me – a professional spellcaster and psychic counsellor (or even your shrink, or perhaps your friend you play World of Warcraft with who lives in Sweden, etc,) and ONLY EVER to me (or people similarly so far out of your social circle,) about this situation. Well, if I don’t know anyone in your life other than past what you’ve told me, it’s rather silly to believe I might actually go run off at the mouth to your buddies. Still, there is a mild possibility. Like a game of telephone, gossip can travel fast.

    So, now we’ve shown your ex might just be hearing about all your kvetching. Let me tell you, it’s sooooooo unsexy to know the ex that you already dislike is sobbing and bitching about you behind your back. If anything, it usually just makes the one doing all the whining and gossipping more unattractive.

    There is also another reason to stop your crying and get off the damn pity pot already. You keep reinforcing to the Universe and to yourself that you love being depressed and abused and playing victim, so…in a sense, you’re asking for more suffering. πŸ˜› That means because you’re complaining and negative all of the time, there is a good chance you’re drawing more of that to yourself, and therefore prolonging the very state you’re whining about, while simultaneously probably making your ex think you’re a psychotic douche. :/

    That doesn’t sound like a “make this reconciliation happen” sort of type of action, does it? I don’t think so. 😦

    IMG_1257Forcing your ex to discuss past (or more present) offenses the moment you get them in your presence Herein the arguement I most often here goes like “But Cat, if so-and-so won’t explain to me WHY s/he did (offensive action) or at least admit s/he knows it was a hurtful thing to do, then we aren’t ready to get back together!” There is also the famous “I just had to discuss my feelings and let so-and-so know what s/he did wrong so we could sort out our problems before the spell kicked in and…”

    Holy. Crap. No, no, no. This is past a holy crap moment. HOLY. SHIT. If I could smack you upside the head for being so blind you’re being dumb, I really would. Why? That’s stupid. You don’t get why? *sighs* Fair enough.

    You know who likes having long, painful, accusatory discussions about they’ve messed up their relationships with loved ones? NO ONE.

    You know who enjoys hearing how they failed some person who obsessively nags them for imagined transgressions as well as real ones? NO ONE.

    You know who likes to discuss their past jerkishness or how it made you feel? NO ONE.

    You know who wants to get back together with someone who keeps bothering them about every perceived failing and hurt – past or present? NO ONE.

    I could keep going, but I think you get the point. If you didn’t get the point, I will explain a bit more…the rest of you who see what I’m saying, I’m sorry for the needing to expound on my point. πŸ˜‰ Basically, you’re making that person uncomfortable and miserable every time they see you. What ends up happening is they start associating your presence with being uncomfortable instead of happy and comfortable. So instead of trying to warm the relationship back up by being fun and light, you cart out all the past offenses (or present ones if you’re really a nut,) every time you have an opportunity to communicate with this person, every grievance or hurt you need to bring up is said…and that person really feels like crap around you now. Because you just bitch and nag and aren’t any fun. Because they have to keep explaining themselves and being treated like you’re their mother or father, while they are a bad child. You are now associated with misery. Wonderful. I bet that person really wants to get back together with you so they can be nagged and complained at for every triviality that ever offended you. Oh, you’d not do that if they were back with you? Well, they don’t believe that if you keep doing it every time you meet with them.

    This is a great way to kill an ACTIVE relationship if you nag too much. Imagine what it does to a broken relationship. :/

    Making yourself associated with long naggy conversations about what the person you’re speaking to did to offend you or hurt you doesn’t sound like a “make this reconciliation happen” sort of type of action, does it? I don’t think so. 😦

    Apologies with a “but” in them
    I can guarantee just about everyone reading this has done this at least once. I will give you an example… “I’m really sorry that I hurt you when I hijacked a bus full of polar bears and drove them to your concert where they started eating people, but I did it to make your show more memorable!” or how about “I’m really sorry your mom heard about me saying your penis is the size of a contact lens, but I was really mad about you being fifteen minutes late, I had no idea she was standing behind me, and you know I love your penis even if it’s not gigantic!”

    Am I being ridiculous? Alright. How about this. “I’m sorry we got in that fight, and I know I said some mean things, but I was so angry because I thought you were cheating on me. I realize you weren’t, but you can’t blame me for being angry. You were 30 minutes late. Of course I was worried you might be running late because you were sneaking around my back. Sharon told me you do stuff like that. So I am sorry I said those rude and crappy things, but I did it out of anger. I mean, everyone gets angry right? So no big deal. I didn’t mean anything I said, I just got jealous.”

    Let me translate this for you – how it sounds to the person you’re apologizing to: “I got in that fight because I got jealous over a bit of gossip I heard because I talk about you behind your back all the time. I know I said some really rude and out of control things, things which were unacceptably hurtful to you, however it’s actually your fault and the fault of the person I talk behind your back to, so I’m not sorry at all. I am also a jealous and overly emotive psycho. Can we still be friends?”

    Now let me try to properly apologize using the above example… “I’m so sorry we got in that fight, and I’m sorry for the things I said which were totally out of line. I realize now completely overreacted because I’d heard some gossip which I never should have believed. I hope you can forgive me for my totally out of line behavior.”

    See the difference? One puts the onus on everyone but myself. The other shows me asking for forgiveness, placing the blame on myself, and showing the other person I recognize what I did wrong. Apologies are not for making excuses about bad behavior. Apologies should be given once (don’t stalk someone to apologize to them repeatedly in the hopes of getting their forgiveness,) and should show the person who RECEIVES the apology that the person GIVING the apology realizes the offense was wrong, that they were wrong, and that all they truly wish to receive forgiveness for their mistakes – and that forgiveness is a request, NEVER A DEMAND or a manner of guilting someone. If you need to say I’m sorry, there is no other excuse than “I fucked up, this is how I fucked up and hurt you, and I’m sorry and hope you forgive me.” It is NEVER “Sure you’re hurt, but I didn’t really fuck up because of these reasons (reasons given here,) so it’s really your fault for being offended at my doing nothing actually wrong.”

    Apologies with “but” in them mean you actually don’t accept blame, and make others think you lack empathy for their feelings. :/

    Using an apology to make someone else feel badly about YOUR mistakes doesn’t seem like a “make this reconciliation happen” sort of type of action, does it? I don’t think so. 😦

    Forcing a reluctant party to keep contact
    Ah, this one is always a big flaming red flag that you’re never going to keep your ex in your life, or get them back. How many times must I tell you to STOP STALKING YOUR EX. If someone seems uncomfortable to be speaking with you or is replying with answers that do not invite any further conversation, they likely do not wish to stay in contact. Even if they answer your calls, if every time they speak to you, they seem cold and aloof, it’s time to stop calling that person. You’re being an annoying pain in the ass stalker. Sure, maybe it makes you feel better to relentlessly look at their facebook, and occasionally call them with or without the assistance of booze fueling your conversation, to just hear their voice answer you. Do you think it makes them feel better?

    I can’t tell you the last time I was happy to hear my phone ringing at 1am. I’m pretty sure it was never, though admittedly in my younger days some of my close friends and I would call each other in the wee hours and it was not a super big deal. However, if my ex was on the other line at 1am, it definitely was never that I was happy to get that call. Like most people, I hate that.

    You know what else most people hate? The ex that won’t stop calling over stupid stuff. Oh, you found my socks? Um, well keep them or throw them out. Do I remember your sister’s babydaddy’s first cousin? No, not really. Oh, he died? Oh. I’d say sorry, but I don’t even remember meeting that person. Why yes I did see the season finale of Sons of Anarchy. No, I don’t really want to discuss your thoughts on Ron Perlman’s character. See, even contacting your ex over negligably stupid things and acting like you’re having a normal conversation with someone who does not really feel like speaking to you (probably because you’ve committed a few of the offenses herein listed,) is just creepy. If you call someone once a week to discuss random things, and that person seems non-receptive to your calls, or even as if they really want to get off the line, then stop calling.

    And if they don’t answer? My rule of three works wonders here. Never contact anyone more than 3 times (regardless of what form of contact…a text and 2 calls, 2 emails and a text, or 3 calls, etc,) if they do not respond to the first three contacts. Never. Why? Because after three attempts, you’re just being creepy. If you get the feeling the person does not want to talk to you or is being avoidant, keep in mind you’re probably being creepy, and maybe you should stop calling to discuss your feelings about if stevia is better than refined sugar, or if you think the zombie apocalypse is around the corner.

    What you fail to realize is that person is not apt to forget you overnight (not at all, probably will remember you even 5 years from now,) but if you persistantly annoy them with unwanted contact, they will only remember you as an annoying creepy stalkerish nut. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather stop bothering that person, let them get over whatever happened to kill our friendship or relationship, and remember me fondly…especially if I was using spellcraft to get them back. If I keep pestering that person when they’ve made it clear they are uncomfortable having ANY discussion with me, perhaps I should stop taking advantage of their politeness (assuming they answered,) and back off. This way, when I do spellwork (assuming you are,) they will be more apt to remember the fun times with me, rather than the fact that I call to talk about nothing because I’m a bit obsessive and just can’t let go. In other words, until you take the hint to stop calling/contacting that person, you’re just making a situation where you’re bothering the person and making them remember you as a total fruitbasket of misery.

    Calling a non-responsive or disinterested party is disrespectful of their needs and wants. If you do this, you look selfish and creepy. :/

    Acting insensitive, stalkerish, selfish, and creepy doesn’t seem like a “make this reconciliation happen” sort of type of action, does it? I don’t think so. 😦

    Acting like the martyr for love I’ve gone over this before. More than once. :/ You know what’s really unsexy? Looking like a crazy freaked out weirdo with severe emotional issues. You probably think that’s what I was addressing above, but it comes in a more sinister forms.

    Many of you who will read this have that friend (or, eek, maybe it’s you!) who posts a picture of their boyfriend or girlfriend making out with them on their facebook, only 3-4 weeks later post something like “Oh yeah? You don’t think I have feelings but I do. I’m better than you, and I don’t even need you. Maybe when you’ve walked a mile in my shoes you might understand why I am who I am. It’s thoughtless bastards/bitches like you who have turned me into this person, but I’ve fought on, and I am better than you. I learned that today when you squished my heart under your heel and told me I’m not even good enough for you.”

    Ugh.

    You know, as a side note, I’ve seen 3 people discuss what awful people their spouses are, and how it’s over on facebook, only to see those people are still together. That is also a bad idea. Keep your damn relationship problems OFF facebook.

    Digressing back… You know who doesn’t know who you’re speaking of? Probably your Farmville or Cityville or Castleville friends who have no freaking clue who you are anyhow. Everyone else knows. And you’re being a passive-aggressive toolbox acting like a 12 year old who just got PMS for the first time, and everyone really doesn’t want to read your douchey statements which merely reflect your character in a quite negative way. I’m sure your ex is really sorry they left you, and when I say that I’m being completely sarcastic. You’re more apt to get unfriended than to make anyone feel badly for you.

    But martyr for love also finds itself in other forms, not just in the facebook-doucheberry style as mentioned above.

    Stop acting like you’re on the brink of death. Get dressed – get out of your fucking pajamas, and put some real pants on already. If you normally wear make up, put that on. Stop looking like you’re trying out for a role as an extra in a zombie movie. Stop crying everywhere. Look healthy, at least content, and normal. Even if you feel like eating 2 gallons of chocolate icecream that you put vodka in, and even if you just watched The Notebook 4x in a row while sobbing just yesterday, don’t let other people know that. Stop it. It’s creepy. Your ex will be terrified of you, plus probably resent you for the scene you’re making. Your friends will just hope you calm down soon, or maybe even stop associating with you if you don’t snap out of it.

    I’ve made more than one of you giggle when I told you about the time I broke up with a guy I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKED (I think I was already in love with him, actually,) and he picked such a fight with me one night that I told him it was done. At the time, he seemed amenable to the idea, which meant basically we broke that off. So, after that, when I went out, I acted like I was having the time of my life. On the surface, I probably looked more like I wanted to shake off any reminder of him. However, often when I got home I’d go cry alone for some time after that. πŸ˜‰ So it was “Woohooo! Let’s party! Woooo!” in public, and at home when all by myself, it was more like “Waahhhhh, why was he such a dick to me that I had to leave him? I love him so much, waahhhhhhhh, we were meant for each other, but he forced me to leave him, waahhhhh.” Still, I did not show others that. I didn’t post it on facebook (which I am not sure was really popular yet anyhow, hahahahaha, seem to remember that was MySpace times.) I did not call that guy and say that to him (I did call him with my ass once, and he screamed profanities to my bum since it was like 1am, he gets up at 6am, and I needed to get a number out of my cell that was next to his in my phonebook…then I sat on the phone and called my friend on the landline while my ass called him using my cell in the middle of the night, hehe – see why this is a bad idea in the paragraphs under “Forcing a reluctant party to keep contact” even if your ass and not you did the calling :D) and just generally, I tried to give the public the idea that I was over it. Really. I don’t cry when I get home. That doesn’t happen. Fuck that guy, right? Right. Admittedly, I’m sure people had an idea I wasn’t over it, but I at least tried to look like I was happier without him or that the break didn’t phase me. Why? Because if I was crying in public and looking crazy as shit, everyone would just think I was crazy as shit. πŸ˜› I would be annoying to be around. I would not only scare my ex off even more (it was a pretty epic fight, honestly, so we were both pretty scared of each other already,) my own friends would be worried I needed some severe emotional help.

    HOWEVER, you need to keep in mind, if you’re out and about looking like a depressed headcase and crying over the break, or posting all sorts of emotional crap on social sites, speaking endlessly of your pain in public, your ex MIGHT feel bad for you…in the sense they may think you need some emotional/mental help. Like counselling. They won’t want to come back, they will just hope you find psychiatric care. Your friends will be very uncomfortable to be exposed to this too. So they might also think that about you. It won’t change their opinion of you in a good way. It’s also very unsexy. If you want someone to be attracted to you, you should try looking and acting attractive, not dishevelled and psychotic…since dishevelled and psychotic is really not attractive in the least.

    If you publicly display your grief, you will not be furthering your own cause, you will merely underline to all who witness you in this state that you’re mentally and emotionally unfit, plus that whole staying in your jammies stained with your tears and the vomit caused by drinking 22 Bud Lites is so so unsexy. :/

    Looking unsexy and crazy doesn’t seem like a “make this reconciliation happen” sort of type of action, does it? I don’t think so. 😦

    And this is the tip of the iceberg….I could go on for another ten pages, I just adressed the main offenses I could think of off the top of my head.

    You know, before any of you think I’m trying to sit on my high horse and look down at all of you, I’ve probably done everything on this list at least once. Sure, I was a lot more young and stupid back then, but I learned my lessons from experience as well as dealing with clients in relationship-distress for many many years. I strongly hope a few of you who contact me go over this list…perhaps take a peek at this article as well, because if you do, you might salvage that relationship you want to get back together before you kill just about any chance of being able to. :/ I want your reconciliation spells to work. I want you to be happy again…but that might not be possible if you can’t stop getting in your own way with bad actions brought on by emotional distress or perhaps a really messed up view on proper social interactions. :/

    Hopefully a spell will be up soon again,

    Best,

    ~Cat

    NEED HELP – CONTACT ME. πŸ™‚

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