Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

  • Hello Occulties,

    So.. We’ve discussed the basic principles of effective spellcasting or being a petitioner (Spellcasting and petitioning here, Spellcasting here,) and I’ve also gone over references and basics in several places, such as here (blessing,) here (basics,) here (stuff like name papers,) and here (the entire archive of Questions You’ve Asked Me.) I’m not certain what part of my bloglings have missed this stuff (I do know I get a lot of crying from my more lackadasical readers to point them to it,) but I figured I’d point all of you to it now. See, the nice part of that is the next time someone asks me something, I say, “Go to this article, hit the links.” πŸ˜‰

    Now I can get to writing a new spellcrafty article out, and for once stop saying the same things over and over and over….(until this falls off of the front page, that is, lol.)

    ~C

    PS- Thanks everyone for liking the temp post pics. πŸ˜‰

  • If you are afraid of doing anything effecting your situation in an unforseen way, you’ve not yet let the situation go enough to allow your spell to work.

  • From our old friend, and because it was so fun, after I forwarded it to the police, I had to put it up.

    I needed a laugh… I don’t think I’ve been called “Poopster” before… That’s a new one.

    Interesting to note the full headers had changed from those of five minutes before this when he’d emailed me. Before they were as such:

    Return-path:
    Envelope-to: ***@originalninjacat.com
    Delivery-date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:54:32 +0000
    Received: from [66.40.66.242] (helo=mx3.supremebox.com)
    by supremecenter107.com with esmtp (Exim 4.63)
    (envelope-from )
    id 1Lc3MO-00026b-3e
    for ***@originalninjacat.com; Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:54:32 +0000
    Received: from [64.202.165.22] (helo=smtpauth16.prod.mesa1.secureserver.net)
    by mx3.supremebox.com with smtp (Exim 4.63)
    (envelope-from )
    id 1Lc3M8-0007WP-UN
    for ***@originalninjacat.com; Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:54:23 +0000
    Received: (qmail 13387 invoked from network); 24 Feb 2009 19:54:15 -0000
    Received: from unknown (86.147.196.9)
    by smtpauth16.prod.mesa1.secureserver.net (64.202.165.22) with ESMTP; 24 Feb 2009 19:54:14 -0000
    Message-Id:
    From: Dantalion
    To: “Cat”
    In-Reply-To:
    Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=Apple-Mail-34–499984152
    Mime-Version: 1.0 (Apple Message framework v929.2)
    Subject: Re: Ready to chat now.
    X-Priority: 3
    Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 19:54:13 +0000
    References:
    X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.929.2)
    X-Spam-Score: / (0.0)

    The next email obviously has slightly changed, if you notice “Poopster” was sent with much more brief full headers. Of course he must have changed them when I CC’d the prior email I sent over to my local police department to him, so the “Poopster” email of course needed to be a bit different, I guess.

    Full headers for y’all, and the message is in italics and bold.

    Return-path:
    Envelope-to: ***@originalninjacat.com
    Delivery-date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:06:48 +0000
    Received: from [209.25.134.190] (helo=mx1.supremebox.com)
    by supremecenter107.com with esmtp (Exim 4.63)
    (envelope-from )
    id 1Lc3YF-0002Ui-RE
    for ***@originalninjacat.com; Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:06:47 +0000
    Received: from [64.202.165.37] (helo=smtpauth13.prod.mesa1.secureserver.net)
    by mx1.supremebox.com with smtp (Exim 4.63)
    (envelope-from )
    id 1Lc3YC-0002lV-77
    for ***@originalninjacat.com; Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:06:47 +0000
    Received: (qmail 5982 invoked from network); 24 Feb 2009 20:06:38 -0000
    Received: from unknown (86.147.196.9)
    by smtpauth13.prod.mesa1.secureserver.net (64.202.165.37) with ESMTP; 24 Feb 2009 20:06:37 -0000
    Message-Id:
    From: Dantalion
    To: “Cat”
    In-Reply-To:
    Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary=Apple-Mail-35–499241078
    Mime-Version: 1.0 (Apple Message framework v929.2)
    Subject: Poopster!
    X-Priority: 3
    Date: Tue, 24 Feb 2009 20:06:36 +0000
    References:
    X-Mailer: Apple Mail (2.929.2)
    X-Spam-Score: / (0.3)

    PARANOIA

    But whatever all of your sites are going to come a cropper… that’s more important than arguing with a nincompoop! Poopster!

    You kicked a sleeping doggie – your choice, the doggie never cared about you, you Trae Dorn clone.

  • Its not mine, and an old one, but one certain people I know need to hear…. Its an old gem and I’m proud to say I always bring my “gun” to the figurative gunfight:

    “Don’t bring a knife to a gunfight.”

    In other words, choose your battles wisely, and come prepared when you engage in those battles and fights. πŸ™‚

    Food for thought, y’all. πŸ˜‰

  • Hello my Occulites,

    So here I was…and I thought… If I need to defend myself sometimes – I bet you do too! πŸ™‚ I mean, releasing one’s negative energy in a productive and ass-kickular fashion is what good occulites do! We do what we can legally in this plane, and then we turn to the magical plane too, right?

    Now, your old friend Cat is a tired lady (eight hours working on my own case is a bit of work, indeed, – especially since I don’t pay myself, lol,) but she’s gonna help you.

    Anyhow, so you are all thinking “What can this crazy rootworker do to help me help myself defend myself?” Well, I can help you with this here spell, but if you’re near your enemy, hehe.

    WARNING: This is not a nice spell. I take no responsibility for what you may or may not accomplish using it. Do not use it on anyone bigger or badder than you are, as they are apt to retaliate. Do not use it on someone you are just ticked off at – its serious and damaging. If you use it, its a bad mean spell, and you really want to cause harm… and if you do, your actions caused that harm. Its your responsibility, not mine.

    You will need:
    An enemy within proximity to you (you need to get on their property,)
    A glass jar (something like a salsa or pickle jar,) cleaned
    Rusty pieces of sharp scrap metal,
    Fecal matter from an animal, preferably a rat or dog,
    Some item belonging to the target (hair, blood, something they touched, owned, etc – if its an image, it must be only of them,)
    Salt
    Graveyard dirt,
    Sulphur,
    Cayenne pepper
    Dead insects (I collect these from lights and window sills. You need not kill the insects,)
    Tobasco sauce,
    Electrical or duct tape,
    A piece of scrap paper with all corners torn off,
    A black pen,
    Black Arts oil,
    A black candle (taper or votive.)

    Set up:
    First, take your name paper and write the spell target’s name in black ink nine times, like this:
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe

    Now, turn the paper so that the lines are running vertically, and write across this, in black ink, nine times:
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot
    Itch Burn Stink Rot

    You may change the above command to fit your situation, but remember to keep it in the present tense, and do not use negatives (no, not, never.) This should look like a sort of a grid. Fold the paper in half twice, and then if you can wedge in the personal item to the folded paper, do so. If not, set both aside.

    Open your jar, and place the feces inside first. You want it to cover the bottom of the jar, but with room for the rest of your items. Now, place your name paper and personal items on top, and dribble Black Arts oil on the feces and paper and item (about 5 drops,) while saying to the item, “(Name of target,) you itch, you are sleepless, restless, tortured for the pain you have caused me!” Or just merrily gloat that the person is effed in your own words. πŸ˜‰

    Next place in the rusty metal, and the salt, graveyard dirt, sulphur, cayenne pepper, and dead insects, all the while still speaking to the jar as if its the target and you are telling them how they are so screwed. Fill the jar with tobasco sauce (still gloating,) and seal tightly with the lid. Use your electrical tape (you can stop gloating now, hehe,) or duct tape to secure the lid tightly.

    Carve your target’s name UP the candle (base to wick,) and envision your target in misery as you try to envision black energy like worms coming out of you and filling the candle. Shoot all of your dark miserable energy into the candle. If you have any dark energy left over, and don’t mind holding the poopy jar, put the rest in there by holding and charging it similar to your candle. >:)

    Dab some black arts oil preferably on a kleenex or rag, try not to touch,) and rub the candle up (base to wick,) using 9 strokes of the rag in your hand. Using a spare candle or some drips from your black candle, secure the candle to the top of the jar. If you have lit the candle snuff, do not blow, it out.

    Throw out the rag, and wash your hands in Florida Water or Ammonia based cleaner (rinse well with the ammonia, kiddos.)

    The spell:

    Light your candle.

    Holding your hands on either side of the jar, say: “(Target’s full name,) I do hereby curse you and smite you so that whensoever you come within 9 feet of this charm, you are sick, you are itchy, you are restless, you are ill. You feel your bile rise, you feel your heart sink. All around you is black and as black as your heart. I curse you for the pain you have caused me, I curse you for the misery you have caused me, may your evil deeds haunt you three times three times three! This spells shall not reverse nor place upon me any curse, as is my will SO BE IT!”

    Allow the candle to burn out. As an aside, if that jar blows up (it can, do not do this where you don’t want exploded bits of shrapnel and poop like your guest room,) this means someone is aware of your work and blocking it. :S

    When the candle has burned out, sneak on to your enemy’s property, and bury this jar near their home. They will be in constant misery when near it. I suggest burying it near their bedroom.

    Don’t get caught. Tresspassing is illegal, and if you have a poop jar, that’s a lot of explaining to do… and I never met you, so don’t come crying to me if you do get caught! πŸ˜‰

    Enjoy!

    ~Cat

    ALL SPELLS (INCLUDING THIS ONE,) ON THIS SITE ARE MY ORIGINAL WORK AND ARE COPYRIGHTED. CHECK OUT MY DISCLAIMER TO SEE HOW EFFED YOU ARE IF YOU STEAL THEM (very.) Everything in this blog is copyright Originalninjacat. Publication or use of it on any site other than the originalninjacat.com site or Cat’s Rant site is illegal, and should you publish anything without my express written permission (even in an email,) I will have you prosecuted to the full extent of the law, and I will send bad demons to your house like my lawyer! πŸ˜€ See what I mean, here!

    What happens if you steal, copy, plagiarize or in some way infringe on my copyright? Click here to find out!

  • Alright… I took care of the bad man on the interwebs.

    I am nothing if not driven.

    For those of you I’ve bothered about the bad man…I apologize. He’s all taken care of and doesn’t know it yet. πŸ™‚ I’m sorry to have given you some trouble when I didn’t have to stay up emailing people late. Oh my… I am good with the phone, my altars, and the internet. πŸ˜€ Not YouTube though…still don’t have a video camera or a YouTube account so I can’t be the master of everything.

    Yes, fellow spellcasters, I do realize he’s one in a million who post tripe just to make themselves sound important. I am pretty litigious. Sorry again to bother you. Many of you thanked me for the heads up, and please know, I am the person who will tell you if someone is saying something about you…even if we never met. You have the right to confront your attacker.

    And thanks everyone. If you have a problem with him, you let me know. The information I needed is mine now. We got everyone working on it. I was told the attorney general of the United States is apparently after him…so… good.

    And my yesterday’s problem…not really a problem for me anymore. πŸ™‚

    Oh, and if anyone needs a cool turkey foot like mine in the previous post, please let me know!

    ~C

    Now if you’ll excuse me… Me, some graveyard dirt, poppy seeds, skull candles….well, a lot of things I can’t share with you, have an appointment in the altar room. If only I did have YouTube…there would be some loud crying in Scottsdale. πŸ˜‰ Got to add a few things to this here tin (candles, roots…surprises I have…hehe.)

    Lets have some fun

    I love you all. Will have a new spell up for you later today! πŸ˜€

    MY ENTIRE SITE IS COPYRIGHT ORIGINALNINJACAT.COM (except where noted,) ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. πŸ™‚

  • Dearest Frater Dantalion:

    Thank you for updating your “scam” of Calastrology. They have been online since the nineties and offering the same services. Glad you liked my letter alerting you of that and you changed it. See, I tell the truth, you twist it.

    I have never been a member on YouTube. We can prove it. We checked.

    Furthermore, I don’t know you. I have had enough. I asked you to act like a big boy, and to tell me your problems with me.

    You instead published more lies. The whole site has been PDF’d and Photoed. Twice. We’re cataloging the changes. Please tell me to send the legal papers, though we have the WHOIS. We will be calling you in a few days with a summons. Its not a joke.

    You may post a letter of retraction (what was it you were saying about honest practitioners getting slammed by others…why isn’t that fucking ironic, – its what you’re doing to me,) and a letter of apology to this lovely woman here writing this, who is a stranger to you. I tried to be nice… Why you got to play mean?

    If someone was posing as me on YouTube, show me. I will make hamburger out of their ass, not yours.

    I also photoed and PDF’d my records where you went through my blog, and all of my spells and spent a lot of time copying my recipies down! We have every move you’ve made!

    If I’m so bad, why you stealing my shit?

    You are a very sorry, very little very detestable man. I am so sorry for never doing anything to harm you, and for trying to treat you like an adult.

    Trying to post the biggest names you find on Google and ripping them on Rip off report is what you do, I see.

    Grow a set and talk to me, or else I’ll see you in court.

    I love court! Its where you pay me $100 an hour for wasting my time on your libel suit when all you needed to do was retract your liablous and slanderous statements.

    You are such a little fool. You wanted a fight… I just wanted a peaceful resolution. What was that you said about making enemies? I didn’t make one… Tried to play nice.

    Luv you!

    ~C

    PS- HOW IS SCOTTSDALE ARIZONA? That’s not the UK!! We WHOISed you, and have been discussing you with GoDaddy, who hosts your site!!! They were very interested to hear what we had to say. We love GoDaddy! Since I do business with them…I do definitely recommend their services to all. πŸ™‚

    Whois1
    Whois2
    Whois3

    This is your IP: 208.109.181.29

    As a site selling services, you must post your name. You are in clear violation of WHOIS rules! πŸ™‚

    We called Godaddy to tell them so. πŸ™‚

    You are a non-UK website owner, with a UK address, and you are saying someone is too American to be UK on your site. Ironic.

    I’ve also been contacting the WHOIS. You know, you have to have a name on a trade site…. I figured they should know.

    Anyhow, Glad to know you are in the States. Thought I’d have to enjoy the jolly UK with my AWESOME UK clients to speak with you in court.

    Don’t you wish you spoke to me now? Ooops. Me so litigious.

    You don’t fuck with the kitty – she keeps the claws long for a reason.

    Oh No Bad Mojo

  • Dearest Frater Dantalion,

    I do not have a YouTube account (not one I know of at least, which means I never made one,) nor have I ever had contact with you at this writing. I don’t know why you feel I’ve caused you hurt or pain or said you’re a scammer (never heard of you,) but could you please politely remove my name from #40 scammer on your list? Cuz, I don’t know who the ROR is, and I’m not trying to defame you.

    If you kindly look at my sites (this one and originalninjacat.com which you’re defaming, slandering, and lying about,) you may notice I never mention you til now. πŸ˜‰

    Please either contact me as I have kindly requested you do so, or respond and tell me what exactly you are speaking of. I’ve already copied your entire “scam sheet,” and it is now nicely frozen in time for all the practitioners who may wish to contact me, as well as my lawyer, and anyone you may say anything to.

    I think it would be a better idea if you and I spoke on what your issue is with me, so we can get to the bottom of this like adults. Having never met you, known of you, or even given a damn what you were doing until I kept getting email about what you had said about me, I feel perhaps its time we spoke like adults.

    While I’ve never said you were a scammer (I did say people who post scammer lists are generally scammers, but I didn’t know of your site or you when I said that, haha,) nor have I ever openly attacked you or acted in any way against you to my knowledge, you apparently feel that I have. I would like to resolve this confusion.

    I do enjoy the Goetia. Dantalion is a difficult spirit to work with. I would love to discuss the Goetia with you. πŸ™‚ Thank you for taking time out of your day to discuss your problems with me.

    See, I don’t make accusations against those I’ve never met! πŸ™‚ I have, however, been victimized by people who have never met me and attack me because I would not take on their case, because they were jealous of my Cat’s Rants site, or for whatever reason. If such is the case here, do let me know. I have more time on my hands as I am writing a book to be published soon and have been taking on less cases. I have 3 publishing offers, and believe me, if I get big enough in published material, you can have all the business you want.

    Hope we can work it out.

    ~Cat

    See your site below!
    Scammer two
    Scammer one
    Scammer three
    Scammer four

  • Hey occulties,

    So…I’ll be honest. Sometimes you guys have a hard time understanding things because its very new to you, and you’re unsure how to do things. Well, short of me making movies (difficult with no camera with that capacity,) I honestly avoid discussing it because I’m still describing, re-explaining, and explaining for the nth time…things like making a name paper.

    I have long wished to explain some of the aspects of making a toby, mojo sack, gris-gris bag (they are all the same item,) but have been fearful of doing so because…well, frankly I was waiting for the day you all understood name papers and things like how not intiating contact means you just don’t initiate it, you can respond to it. πŸ˜‰ Since that day that all of my occulties having figured out name papers and rules of contact with recon spells is not yet here, I was so excited to have a great friend and great occult-mastermind in his own right publish a YouTube video explaining some of the making of a mojo hand to you. If you need to bless and tie that bag, this is for you!

    He’s not just a super rootworker, he’s Cat’s good friend…its Mike Rock showing us how to tie a mojo hand! (Wow that rhymed, sorta.)

    Not do forget part II:

    Thanks for letting me share with my dear readers, Mike.

    XOXO,

    ~Cat

  • Hi everyone,

    A lady named Wendy Angus is felloniously trying to use my blog comments to sell fake Xanax. If its real, she’s going to federal prison. Since she was so nice to pimp her fake bullcrap on my spam through an ad on the comments section, please feel free to email her all your spam at Wendy.Angus@gmail.com

    Remember, everything you write here needs to be on topic. While I did jokingly say I’d give my readers Xanax so they would not freak out about their spells in the particular entry, I would not do that, and further your ads about anti-anxiety drugs have no reason to ever show up on my blog.

    Your word-harvesting try wasn’t a good one. An off-hand joke does not invite ads about what you want to sell us, nor are we discussing the drug companies who wish to put people in a situation where they are addicted to a lifetime of prescription psychotropic chemicals.

    Cease your trolling for customers on my blog immediately.

    Thankies. πŸ™‚

    ~Cat

    PS- Wendy, if you ever spam my blog again, please see the article below this…the one prior to this one about you…. I’m gonna get Christian Bale-istic on you. >:) And I’ll like it, too. >:D *maniacal laughter*