Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

Everything you ever wanted to know about Hoodoo, Rootwork, or the Occult! The internet’s longest running occult blog, established 2004

  • Hi Occulties,

    This one really isn’t a love spell…but its a very frequently asked question, so…

    Q: Is there some way I can attract lovers and friends to me that is a spell that DOES NOT require magic/kal experience?

    A: Sure, this requires no spellcasting at all, actually. Purchase a bottle of Sweet Pea oil…something at least mid-grade as far as oils go, so don’t root about in the 99 cent bin…like something that is at least $5 for an ounce of it…lol, and wear a little bit any time you go out. Men, you may want to place a few drops of semen in this…but I am not sure if it will go rancid if you do, so…anyone with a penis who wants to try this, please let me know what the shelf life is, and I’ll update this article. Ladies, DO place a few drops of your menstruum into the bottle. I have yet to have any bottle of sweet pea oil go rancid from a few drops of my menses in the bottle so, shelf life is…a good long time at least. πŸ˜‰ You can wear this beneath you own regular purfume or cologne…it attracts people – LOTS of people, so be prepared to have the uglies and the weirdies be just as interested as the hotties. Lots of people will be interested in you for sexy reasons and even just-friendly reasons.

    Also, it doesn’t hurt to look your best…so you know…bathe, and brush your teeth, and look good, too. πŸ˜‰

    Have fun!

    ~Cat

  • Hey Everyone,

    Sorry for being such an absentee. I’ve been working myself silly…and yet not earning more, go figure, lol! πŸ˜‰

    This spell is for money and prosperity.

    This one was one of the first spells I created on my own so it may seem rather simplistic to my long-time readers. You may notice that my usual “hard to find” herbal menagerie is missing which is actually because when I created the spell, my herbal supplies were not really what they are now (you know, back when I did understand that most people don’t have blessed thistle and balm of Gilead in their cupboards , lol.) However, it works pretty dang well, so it is worth a try if you are looking to increase income. πŸ˜€

    This spell is best done on a Thursday or Sunday on a waxing moon, and at sunrise if possible.

    You will need:
    Crown of Success Oil
    VanVan Oil
    Money Drawing Oil
    Cinnamon
    Bay leaves (crushed,)
    Lemongrass
    A picture of yourself (or who the spell is being cast for)
    A puple taper candle,
    A green taper candle
    A bright-orange taper candle
    3 candle holders (fireproof/meltproof)
    A fireproof container such as a cake tin or very large pie plate,
    A lighter
    A nail or pin
    A mortar and pestle or a bowl and spoon for mixing the herbs
    A scrap of green cloth
    A yellow piece of yarn or string.

    First take each of your candles and write your (or the person you are casting the spell for’s) name up (base to wick,) one side using your pin on each candle. Next, write “Wealth” up one side of your green candle, “success” up one side of your purple candle, and “good luck” up the side of the orange candle. Anoint all 3 candles using 3 equal parts of Crown of Success, Money Drawing, and VanVan oil, by using 7 pulls upward (from base to wick,) per each candle. As you anoint each candle, try to envision gold, green, and purple energy being sent into the candle. If you are not able to do this, its okay, just try to think in your head the words money, success, and wealth while you anoint the candles and this will do. Set aside.

    Samhai

    Using your mortar and pestle OR in your bowl, mix approximately equal parts cinnamon, bay leaves, and lemongrass, trying to fine up the ingredients to a rough powder. Pour this out onto a piece of scrap paper, and roll each of your anointed candles into the herbal mixture to cover them with herbs. Replace the extra herbal mixture back into the mortar or bowl for later use.

    Placing each candle into a seperate holder (you may light these now if to only secure them to the holder with drippings,) position each candle with candleholder into a “pyramid” position, keeping the orange candle on top, the green to the left, and the purple to the right. Place your photo (or that of the target,) in the center of this pyramid.

    If you have not already done so, light the candles, starting with the green taper, and go clockwise, so you would light the green, the orange, and then the violet candle. If you have lit them earlier to secure them with drippings, do not worry, the spell will work fine. Hold your hands so that they are positioned on either side of the pyramid from where you are standing. Say, “(Full name of person spell is being cast on,) success and wealth, prosperity and good fortune flow to you now, your pockets are bursting with money, your success increases, and good luck follows you wherever you go. There is money in your pocket wherever you go. There is success around every corner. (Full name,) every day is filled with good luck for you now – as is my will, so be it!” Allow the candles to burn out completely.

    Once the candles have burnt out, pull out the photograph between them, and place this, the remainder of your herbal mixture, and a drop of each of the listed oils into the center of your scrap of green cloth. Securely tie the green cloth shut with your piece of yellow or gold thread. Place this “bag” near your front door somewhere where it will not be seen.

    This spell will work for about 60 days if you do not feed the bag. If you would like to increase the spell life, feed your bag maximally once a week and minimally every 28 days by placing a drop of any of these ritual oils: Crown of Success, Money Drawing, VanVan, Lodestone and/or Magnet oil – upon the bag and rubbing it in. This should help to increase your money flow and your job success!

    As always, there will be questions, so contact me should you have any! πŸ™‚

    Blessings,

    ~Cat

    PS- To everyone, if you are going to email me, please make sure you are using a working email address, which may mean actually writing it in the email… I have had a few weird instances of email addresses NOT working or even being in your system’s servers as even existing. Since its Mercury Retrograde (or so I believe…I need to double check, lol,) please don’t take any chances, and DO write out your email address in the body of the email for me, so I can respond. Thanks in advance! πŸ™‚

  • Okay, I am such a jerk, but I’ve discovered the best way to let off negative energy. Enter a Yahoo! message board about a news story where your opinion and personal experience are basically all you need to back up your argument. State your argument. Watch as everyone calls you “stupid” or freaks out. And just sit back and laugh. I said I hated math and I do quite well without it. OMG, they were accusing me of flipping burgers and getting ugly with me for saying just that! I was laughing so hard I was crying!

    So, look occulties, no spell needed – just aggravate the dorks who sit around Yahoo message boards looking to pick a fight, and let them Google you and everthing you say because they have nothing better to do.

    Mind you, math, past basic algebra (meaning up to about trig,) has never ever ever applied to my life. I am leery to say trig did, but it may have helped with a sculpture once. I stand by that. But aggravating Yahoo message board weirdos by telling THEM that, and watching them sob and cry that I MUST BE WRONG…o, and making fun of my alma mater which is easy to do….that was better than years of therapy. How horrid that someone who went to a party college could have a 147 IQ (confirmed recently again,) not use math past arithmatic most of the time, and still actually do well in life. Oh…wait, look who our president is? I guess my success should not come as a shock, considering I can read and write which is more than Bush can do. πŸ˜‰

    So, definitely, go into the Yahoo message boards and give these people some serious hypertension! Its so much fun. I can’t believe they are so upset that I don’t like trig! Wow, next time I need some stress relief, I am going into a fashion board and making fun of skinny-leg jeans, leggings, and the apparently legally-blind women who wear them. Mwahahahahaha!

    Ever mischievious,

    ~Cat

  • As many of you may already know, Steve Irwin, “The Crocodile Hunter,” was killed today when a stingray pierced his heart off the great barrier reef. He was 44. He will be missed by all – especially those of us who love any person wacky enough to stick their head in a croc’s mouth and to let varied animals bite and sting them for our education and entertainment. Steve_irwin

    Steve Irwin: Feb 22, 1962 – Sept 4, 2006

  • Hello everyone,

    I would like to discuss something that ticks me off almost as much as the rediculous junk science surrounding smoking…(you know, apparently drinking sulfuric acid is safer than smoking, or at least this is the tripe the newly-fired Surgeon General tells me.) Okay, people, my countrymen and countrywomen… If YOU want to be overweight or morbidly obese, and you are happy being fat, then by all means, BE FAT. I don’t care. BUT STOP MESSING WITH WOMEN’S US CLOTHING SIZES!!! For the love of Big Mac, I have NOT been a 6 since high school, and I’ve been able to get a US 7 and KNOW it would fit me just right since I was 19. That is almost (ew,) 10 years of being a 7. Now, I can’t. Because the clothing manufacturers in the US decided that fat people don’t want to be a size 16. They want to be a size 15. So, me, who is by no means skinny, but by no means overweight, now has to cease and desist getting pants via mail order (and we all know I love to shop for clothes,) unless the measurement in inches is CLEARLY listed because certain people can’t deal with the fact that they are big? Do you know an eBay seller from Costa Rica was laughing at how fat the US is to me when I had to specify that I had not lost weight but my US 7 recent purchases were fitting like Ladies’ 8s and 9s. Guess what? Ladies pants sizes increase 2 inches up for each measurement, so 2 more inches means the pants won’t fit right. I DO NOT FIT IN A 8! Well, especially now because what is actually a size 9 is far too big for me…but calling a size 8 a 7 now is just more expensive for those of us who do not need to up the sizes a few inches to placate our egos and our appetites.

    I’d say I am happy to wear a size 6 now, except it isn’t a size 6. It just feels like a total cop-out. Like going to J. Crew (who’s always mis-sized by 2 sizes,) to pretend I am skinny. Now my pants from 1-2 years ago all fit great, and the newer purchases fit like I am trying to drape a tent over my arse…despite being LISTED as the same size I have been for a freaking DECADE.

    Please don’t muck up clothing for the rest of us because it is mentally trying for some people to be a plus size. I think it is actually INSULTING to everyone that the clothing manufacturers are doing this to flatter some weak-minded people. I’m sorry if you don’t like being a plus size, but then DO SOMETHING about it other than pretending you are smaller by looking the number on a tag. Geez, at this rate I will be a size 00 by 2010, and many of my girlfriends will long since have been forced to wear children’s clothes. Many people in our country are very overweight and the butt of many jokes internationally, and I am sorry that it is that way…but I do not mind if my countrymen and women want to be big… Just please…enough with messing with the dress sizes, OK?

    So, if, in the last year, you are flattering yourself thinking you hit a dress size smaller, I am here with the clothing tape measure for you (now a neccessity to mail order pants,) and look, your butt is still the same size your butt was 2 years ago. You aren’t smaller. Sorry about that. And here we are all thinking we lost 5 lbs, but alas, it is just the manufacturer trying to flatter you. 😦 Sorry.

    I know it isn’t a rant about the occult, but after spending $200+ on jeans only to have NONE OF THEM FIT, I am not a happy occult mastermind. πŸ˜›

    Supposed to be a size 7, now a size 6 and rapidly going towards a 5 while never losing weight,

    ~Cat

    PS- I do not hate overweight or obese persons so I hopefully have not offended anyone other than a few clothing designers. In fact, I feel it is actually insulting to everyone big or small to resize ladies clothing. You know your weight and your size. I love all my big sistahs just as much as the skinny sistahs.

  • I know y’all want another love spell. I know. Always with the LUV spells, always. πŸ˜‰ Its okay, I would like to think we all have someone to cuddle at night. πŸ˜€ So, I will give you a LUV spell just because you are my readers and I love you. πŸ˜€

    This spell is best done on a Friday, during a waxing (growing) moon.

    You will need:
    2 red human figural candles (the naked people ones,) of the appropriate sex to represent each party, (ie guy and girl, or if a homosexual relationship guy/guy or girl/girl,)
    Cinnamon
    Lemongrass,
    Rose petals – red or pink,
    Cubeb berries,
    Juniper berries,
    Rose oil (fragrance oil is fine for all oils, essential oil is not needed,)
    Sweet Pea oil
    Tangerine oil
    A nail or a pin,
    Red satin cord or red yarn,
    A fireproof container such as a pie plate or cake tin,
    Scrap of brown paper bag,
    A mortar and pestle (a bowl and strong spoon may be substituted,)
    A red pen,
    A black pen,
    Witness sample (also called biological concern, ie hair, blood, sexual secretions, etc,) from each “target,” (optional.)

    First, using your mortar and pestle (or bowl and spoon,) take all of you herbal ingredients, the cinnamon, lemongrass, rose petals, cubeb berries, and juniper berries, and crush these up into as fine as a powder as you can. Set this aside.

    Ondian

    If you have a witness sample for each person the spell is being cast on (if one person is YOU, then I assume you can make your own witness sample, lol,) bore a small hole into the base of each figural candle, and stuff the witness sample belonging to the party the candle is supposed to represent inside. For example, if I were casting this spell, I would put something like one of my hairs into the base of the female candle, and would place a hair or some other witness sample from my fella into the base of the male figural candle. Try to seal the base back up by stuffing some of the wax you bored out into the hole so it secures the witness sample. Now carve the initials of the party being represented onto the “chest” area of their candle representing them. Using equal parts of your oils, anoint each figural candle with 7 pulls upwards (from base to wick.) “Charge” each candle by holding each individuallly in both of your hands and visualizing the couple happy and in love. Try to “send” this energy through your palms into the candle until you feel as if it is “full,” and then repeat with the other candle. If you feel like you cannot send energy into the candle, just hold it for a few moments while visualizing, and this will do.

    Now take your paper and write the first person’s name in black pen 9x like this:
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doe x6 more times,
    And then turn the paper 1/4 turn so the writing is up and down instead of across, and write the second person’s name across the first (so it almost forms a grid, like tic tac toe,) in the same fashion, ie:
    Jane Doe
    Jane Doe
    Jane Doe x6 more times.

    Using your red pen, write your command in a circle around the names. This can be something like “love me, love me, love me,” written over and over until it you have made a circle, or it can be more complicated like “John Doe loves only Jane Doe, Jane Doe loves and desires only John Doe, and with each passing moment John and Jane fall deeper and deeper in love with each other.” I leave it up to you, but people always want me to write something out to help, so there are 2 examples of what you can write. Spit into the center of the paper, and then place a little of your herbal mixture in the center of your paper, then folding it once TOWARDS you, and then folding it again TOWARDS you.

    The candles should still be greasy with the oil, but if you now smell absolutely lovely and they look a bit dry, you may anoint the candles with a little more oil using equal parts of each oil, and using 2 or so pulls upward (base to wick) again. Sprinkle your herbal mixture onto the candles or roll them in the herbal mixture, then standing them in your fireproof container so that they are face to face. Using your red cord, tie them together using 9 knots, as you say, “(Full name,) and (Full name) with this cord I do tie your love and passion together, that you always love and desire each other.” Be careful, certain brands of figural candles are WEAK, so you will want to be gentle, just make sure the cord is tight enough that it won’t slip.

    Place your folded paper beneath the bases of the candles.

    Light the candles, and hold your hands on either side of them. When you feel ready say, “(Full name,) and (full name,) I draw your hearts together that your love and desire for each other shall grow with each passing day. (Full name, party one,) you love and desire (party 2, full name,) and only (party 2, first name.) (Full name, party 2,) you love and desire (party 1, full name,) and only (party 1, first name.) (first name of each party,) your bonds of love grow stronger with each breath you take, your hearts are overflowing with love and passion for each other, and you desire only to please the other, as is my will, so be it!” Drop your hands, and allow the candles to burn out. When they have, take your spell remains and bury them under your front doorstep. Also, if you would prefer to use a different chant, please do…my chant is only a suggestion, and can be altered by YOU to fit your situation. πŸ™‚

    I hope this has been educational, and that you are all snuggling with someone tonight… We will have some more “Anti-neighbor,” spells, and controlling spells coming up in the next few days…

    I do not take any responsibility for anything you do with this information, and please remember the content of this blog is only my opinion and my creation based on my experience after years of intensive study on the occult and spellwork. I accept no liability, real or imagined, for results using my spells, or a lack thereof, and further, if I offend you, then it is my first amendment right to freedom of speech, so…sorry, I have the right to be offensive. πŸ˜‰ Just had to get that in here…it has to go up every once in awhile. πŸ˜‰

    Blessings,

    ~Cat

  • A special thanks and I love you goes out to everyone who has told me that this eBay guy is a complete headcase and not to get my knickers in a bunch over it. πŸ˜€ Thank you also for reminding me that I am twenty-eight (ouch, my vanity, but alas, its true and for some reason I just keep getting older,) and that I need to be an adult and not stoop any closer to “shoezen”s level. πŸ˜‰ I have stooped, and I am happy.

    Shoe

    Also, to you know who you are, no, do not go around harrassing that guy, even though I did laugh my bum off when you told me you would drive to Florida and ask him to cut off your toes… πŸ˜‰ ROTFLMAO, you all made me smile, and yes, Jen, he is a complete frikkin nut to leave neg f/b that makes HIM look like a re-re.

    And to shoezen, I do hope you like my article. Thanks so much for directing our attention, even momentarily, from the best topic in the world, and that is how to use the occult and spellwork to better our own lives, and perhaps make the lives of people such as yourself worse. πŸ˜€ Mwahahahahahahahahha! Mwahahahahahahahahaha!

    Now that I feel I have retaliated against the false negative f/b, let us on with an ON TOPIC article, shall we?

    ~Cat

  • Hey everyone,

    First thing, the comments on this blog ARE public, and I do not see them until I go to post – they aren’t emailed to me. So, please send all inquiries of a personal nature that you do not want everyone with an internet to see directly to me. Thanks!

    So, I have a PERSONAL rant today. Well, its an eBay rant.

    As many of you know, I have a serious eBay addiction. I love it. People are like “O, don’t you hate not being able to examine the item before buying?” NO! I love it! I live in the arse-crack of NH, in a place that is considered RURAL by people who would normally be considered rural by everyone else. I mean, 1500-2000 residents in my town AT MOST and we are one of the bigger ones in the area. NO BS. So, where am I supposed to purchase all my supa-fine clothes and neato electronics, and other fun stuff…when I have to drive an hour to even find a Target. So eBay? I LOOOOOVE eBay. I buy everything off of there. I seriously need to join eBay anonymous.

    Anyhow, many of you who know me have heard me talk about Little Wayne. About late April or early May, he was in dire need of some boots, and out of the goodness of my heart, I was like “Okay, no more holes in your shoes, I am gonna buy you a nice pair of Merrells.” I picked out several candidates, let him choose from 3, and I paid in good faith, and waited for this lovely charitable gift to come to my home so I could let my friend work with dry feet wearing non-Walmart boots…and then I get this call from a seller named Ben, eBay name, shoezen. I still have the VM message, and it goes something like this:

    “Um, I sold my last pair of 10.5s to someone else before the auction ended. But I have 10s and a mens 7.5…so how about one of those…” and goes on to try to sell me a pair of boots 3 sizes too small, and really pimps those 10s, and then keeps spouting about how he sold the boots I purchased to another person, and bla bla bla. Okay, serious abuse of eBay rules. I am pretty annoyed by this point, so I call the number he gives me. Its the wrong number. >:/ Yeah. Okay, so I email him, and say basically you can call me ONLY at this time (I do psychic readings, so like do you think I have a lot of free phone time? No, I don’t,) and that if he doesn’t have 10.5s we can discuss him reordering the shoes and sending ’em late to me or a refund. He waits until literally the last minute I have free. Then he keeps trying to sell me the mens size 10…

    …Okay, I am a reasonable person. My feet are respectively Left: Ladies 8 1/3, and Right: Ladies 8 1/10 about… smaller than an 8.5, but in sneakers and boots I wear an 8.5, and all other high heeled shoes, I always get an 8. So, yep, I realize some people can go wear a mens 10.5 or a 10…it can happen…but in this case it is a mens 10.5 all around no exceptions, and he (Little Wayne) knows how Merrell’s fit. Make the offer to me once, and when it rejected, just REFUND, right? Back to my story…

    So “shoezen,” aka Ben, starts WHINING that he has no 10.5s, and I have to take the 10s, etc, etc. I just say, “Listen, short of cutting off this man’s toes a 10 isn’t gonna fit, and I will definitely need to hack them off to fit them into a 7.5. I’m a woman and I think I almost fit into a men’s 7.5. So…you can reorder the Merrells in a 10.5, and I will wait, or else I don’t want a pair of too-small boots. I’ll just consider it a SNAFU on your end, and have my money back.”

    He gets all huffy and goes, “I GUESS I’LL HAVE TO GIVE YOU A REFUND THEN! I’m SOOOO SORRY that I sold your boots to someone else, but I didn’t know you’d win the auction! I’ll just GIVE YOU A REFUND THEN!”

    I was pretty shocked that he would be so rude, but I was like “I guess you have to, considering selling an item you don’t have is a clear violation of eBay rules.” And I hung up. I deal with enough freaked out people in any given day, and I really don’t take babyish crap like that well. If you’ve ever dealt with me, I’ll refund you for a freaking package being late, I don’t think its a huge thing…just something called customer service.

    Then I wait for my refund. And then I wait longer. And then I wait some more. Then I contact eBay because apparently they needed to be called in to deal with this f*ckwheat. Then I get this refund WICKED LATE, and a little note from him saying, “I’m sorry if you were dissatisfied with your purchase.” What purchase? I didn’t get anything to be dissatisfied with! I paid you to be a c*ckmuncher to me and then hold $100 of mine as long as you pleased until eBay squeezed it back out of you and back to me. πŸ˜‰ Wow, what a psycho, right? Let me tell ya, I DO NOT leave negative feedback unless the most direst of circumstances and worst of sellers happens, and in this case I DID leave negative feedback…in early MAY.

    But it gets better. So last night, your favorite occult mastermind, was leaving some positive f/b for a mentally normal seller, and I was like… Woah, this is one point short on my f/b score. What the hey? Did I act like a jerk to someone? (I couldn’t recall doing anything bad.) So, I thought…maybe someone left me f/b meant for someone else. I will check and see and no doubt this can be fixed because its a booboo.

    OH

    MY

    GOD

    (-) not our fault if size marked on box not same as what’s inside.
    Seller shoezen( 22229)

    WTF, yes it is – its YOUR problem at the least! And how would you know the size was wrong on the box unless you looked? I certainly never even saw boots in a right OR a wrong size…never saw or received a DAMN THING from you. And then also, why on earth would you tell me you sold the 10.5s to someone else if it was all a packaging SNAFU, which was never ever what was said to me? And then why did you not refund me until I forced you to? And why did you not just refund and I would have left a (+) and a “refunded promptly after sizing mistake” or something, instead of being a TOTAL PRICK over the whole thing? And why are you leaving this 3 months after the fact? Did you have one too many drinks and decide to tell bad lies about me because your wife wouldn’t lay you when you stink like whiskey? Cuz, if she’s being a cold fish, that’s my dept, give me a heads up and I can help, but SHOES and BOOTS and eBay are your dept, and you are the one at fault!! Did you run out of your medication last night?

    Anyhow, I contacted eBay. I had saved his voice message, so basically he’s screwed his own self. I will make his life a living hell through all legal means I have available to me until I get that silly lie removed, so don’t any of y’all worry. But…for real people, WTF!?! Some of you have had the misfortune to see me annoyed – scary isn’t it? Seriously, I have to get those devil-horns removed or something. None of you have ever seen or heard me be completely pissed off. Okay, Brian, maybe you (when discussing the other Ben, or even Little Wayne no less, heh heh,) but not even you have seen it at the 7th level of Hell explosive level. Its pretty much there in regards to this guy. I am going to take a bite out of his soul…until the f/b is removed.

    I can take a complaint when its deserved. If I effing suck, then honestly tell the world how I effing suck. I am so far from being perfect, that I’ve no doubt there is a long list of ways I effing suck…but if you are gonna bring it, bring it with honesty. And what is it with me and men named Ben? Do they all have some sort of psychosis when it comes to me?

    So, okay…that’s all. Wow, did I need to vent. Let’s all curse shoezen and have a nice day now, eh? Heh heh heh. Also, look him up on eBay, and send him messages to tell him we all know he sucks if you are feeling childish and need to release some of that. He also runs ShoeZen.com, and though I have the email for that one, I will be nice and not list it…but if you feel as pathetic and childish as he does, then let him know he’s a nut, I will laugh my bum off and love you even more for it. πŸ˜‰ No, I don’t expect you to do any harrassing, but if you did and you told me about it, I would laugh so hard…not that I condone harrassing people, because I don’t…but…I would still laugh…and then tell you that you are bad…and then I would laugh again…heh heh heh.

    And I still love eBay, but I will love ’em more when that f/b (hopefully,) gets removed. πŸ˜€

    ~Catress

  • Hello readers and friends,

    I am often asked to help people cast their own spells. This makes sense…look at the content of my blog! πŸ˜‰ A lot of people have a lot of the same problems like they can’t visualize OR they are too worried about what to say during the chant, or…you know something along those lines. Here are little “tricks,” to use to help you retain your focus, and a few pointers I can give to you to help you cast a better spell. As I am only 1/4 through the first coffee, none of these are in the most coherent order. As always, full coffee ingestion is needed for 5-star writing from me…so…bear with me here. πŸ˜‰

    Problem 1 – I can’t keep a good visual image of my target while casting my spell.

    Solutions: The easiest solution I have for this is to keep a picture of the target/s beside the altar while you are casting the spell. This way you are worrying LESS about if you are remembering Bob’s/Betty’s face exactly right, and you can place more concentration on the actual work. πŸ˜‰

    If you do not have a picture of your target/s, then try taking 5 minutes for yourself BEFORE the spell, and try to focus on one part of your target’s face in your mind. Can you think of Bob’s nose? Can you think of Betty’s chin? If you can, the rest of the face should flow back into your head very quickly. Once you feel secure that you have remembered your target’s face clearly, then RELAX, keep the image in your head as best you can, and cast the spell.

    Problem 2 – I don’t know the name of my target, or what they look like.

    Solution – this is a big one, which mostly arises from people wanting to do break up spells. As I am not incredibly fond of break up spells, I have already rolled my eyes at you. πŸ˜‰ Okay, but, who knows, maybe you aren’t breaking up people so…here goes: First of all, DO YOUR RESEARCH. Every good mage knows how to find something out, how to sneak around, and how not to get caught. My ex successfully found out the name of his rival by continuously calling me, and saying “That guy this, that guy that, that guy this,” (no, not exactly that, but kept referring to him as “that guy,”) until I referred to “That guy,” by his name. Well, he got the name, and I got a break up spell cast on me and my guy. πŸ˜› But, with credit to my ex, it worked as a method of getting the guy’s name. πŸ˜‰ Another method is to just ask your friends… you know, “So, Clancy is dating that new girl – what’s her name?” Yeah, it’ll come out. πŸ˜‰ If you are ready to be a stalker, wait for your ex at their favorite hang out, and voila, there is your mental image as your ex and their new dish come walking in the door. Mental picture snapped, and break up spell started, right? >:)

    But who knows. Maybe you’ve alienated everyone who would know, or maybe you just don’t know who would know. A less effective method is to use the name of “Rival,” or if you are trying to break a hex, “Those who would do me harm.” Sidestep calling this target by their name by naming them as their role in your life. “That bastard who stole my Ephiginea” is not appropriate though…try… “All men with romantic intentions and sexual feelings for Ephiginea,” instead. There are a lot of bastards in this day and age (unmarried women have kids, and those children are technically “bastards,”) and last I heard, kidnapping is the only method of “stealing” anyone. So, unless the child of an unmarried woman kidnaps your honey, try using less emotional terms. πŸ˜‰

    And of course, there is the method of side stepping the “unknown target,” altogether by simply casting directly on the party you DO know (so like in a break up spell, cast a love an reconciliation spell on your ex, with stipulation that s/he lose interest in all romantic companions except for you, or if it is like a hex, cast the spell on the be-hexed target.)

    Problem 3 – I get too nervous during the spellcasting, and afraid I am doing something wrong.

    Solution: You won’t like this one….I know it, but here goes – RELAX! Practice makes for better spellcasting, and doing something an eensy weensy bit wrong will probably not negate the spell. Don’t feel tense or panicky, as this is more apt to mess you up, but realize if and when you DO mess up your spell is very unlikely to “blow up in your face.” This isn’t a flammable can of gasoline I’m telling you sling around an open flame! πŸ˜‰ You will be OK. Just take a BIG breath, and then another, and then tell yourself that you HAVE FAITH in yourself, and TRY casting that spell. I am always here for you to contact if you scare yourself over making a little mistake. Yes, and I will let you know if you need to recast the spell because it might fizzle. No, I don’t think “karma” will come after you, unless that is the neighbor’s Rottweiler, and then maybe. πŸ˜‰ Just DO IT, and believe you did it right. The more FAITH you have in yourself, the better and the stronger that spell will be.

    Problem 4 – I have pets who might disrupt my altar.

    Solution – I can relate. The best solution here is to keep your animal OUT of the room you are spellcasting in. Most animals are intelligent enough to keep away from the altar, but kittens and puppies, and BABY animals especially are prone to curious ventures into anything they aren’t supposed to venture into. Be a responisble pet owner, please, and keep all pets AWAY from your altar area. Please also note that birds are VERY sensitive to smoke and certain gasses, and should be removed from any area where you are burning incense or ANYTHING. Even if Polly has a cage and won’t fly into your altar set up, you may be caging Polly right next to something that could kill Polly…so please remove all animals from the room you are casting a spell in FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY. If you must keep reptiles, small animals and birds in the same room, be certain to leave VERY adequate ventillation for the animal (they are probably in a cage and cannot get away,) and be certain that the animal is in a place where they will have no contact with the altar.

    Problem 5 – I can’t stop obsessing over how the spell will manifest, which I know can negatively effect the spell.

    Solution – Do ANYTHING to keep your mind off of the spell, which means trying to avoid doing what I refer to as “no mind” tasks if you can. A “no mind” task is something as mundane as sweeping your floor, or even a job task, suchas when I was an interior painter…there was little thinking involved in the duty, so while my arm went up and down, I thought everything to death. πŸ˜‰ If you can’t avoid doing “no mind” tasks (and of course, you will have to do “no mind” tasks daily because it is part of life,) try “fantasizing,” on another aspect of your life. If you are casting a spell on Ezekiel for him to love you, then fantasize about what you would do if you won Powerball, or got an Oscar, or…a super job, or a new car, or if you actually could tell off that rude waitress… Also, try to get involved with things that NEED you to think about them while you do them as much as possible, rather than mopping your kitchen floor and obsessing over what may or may not happen. πŸ™‚ And yes, there will be times when you think about your spell or the manifestation thereof, but just MINIMIZE those times, and the spell will manifest faster.

    Remember, my little evil genuises, you must bide your time and be patient – NOT too eager for the endgame. What you want will come to you. πŸ™‚

    Problem 6 – I do not have an altar space.

    Solution – Now, now, ANYTHING stable can be used as an altar. I used the top of my TV set as an altar for a long time…and a public-use ashtray I filched in college was also used as an altar for a bit…(gee, I hope Plymouth Laundry isn’t reading this, heh heh heh…) ANYTHING stable can be used as an altar. All you need is something you KNOW will not fall over, and something which is less-flammable than say, a cardboard box. Be creative. If you need to use the top of your TV, USE the top of your TV. If you only have an old milk crate and a piece of scrap wood, this will do. The limit is fire-safety and your imagination. πŸ˜‰

    Okay, y’all, this is all I can think of off of the top of my head. As always, your friend Cat is here for spellcasting support and troubleshooting, so use the contact link on the sidebar over there if you need help.

    To your continued success!

    ~Cat

  • Hello Occulties,

    I often have a hard time with expaining money spells as being different than gambling spells. However, I believe it is much better for someone to EARN their keep than to wait around for the winning Powerball ticket, so I am going to give you a job-getting spell instead of inscribing a money spell and having a bunch of my readers spending $50 on Powerball tickets. πŸ˜‰ So I’ve decided the best thing is to write out a spell for getting a job.

    Many people are fond of using red or gold in all Crown of Success style spells, and tend to forget the Jupiterian influence as being incredibly important as well. I personally have found more success in using at least a BIT of purple, as this is the color most often associated with Jupiter, and I feel that if you want the most business-oriented type of success, Jupiter makes for a much better influence than using only solar (Sun) influences. If you are accustomed to seeing only red, orange, and gold/yellow being advertised with Crown of Success supplies, this is not uncommon. One too many spellcasters forget that Jupiter is a ruler of success, too. πŸ˜‰ Me? I’m a sun in Sag, baby, no way am I forgetting the ruler of my Sun sign! πŸ˜‰

    Feedme_1

    You will need:

    A yellow drawstring bag, small,
    A piece of pyrite, also known as “Fool’s Gold,”
    A piece of dragon’s blood in resin form (not sticks of incense or the reeds,)
    A small amount of Deer’s Tongue (this is an herb, please do not rip out Bambi’s tongue,)
    A piece of brown paper bag, all edges torn, not cut
    A pen – either red or black,
    A purple taper candle,
    Crown of Success oil,
    Red and yellow yarn,
    A firesafe container like a cake tin or pie plate,
    A nail or pin,
    A candle holder,
    A lighter.
    Gold glitter (optional.)

    Take your piece of bag, and write your name out 9 times like this:
    John Doe
    John Doe
    John Doex6 more times.

    Now turn the paper so the writing is going up and down and write “Succes” or “Gets a Job Now,” or something similar across your name 9 times so that the writing forms a bit of a grid. Sprinkle a bit of deer’s tongue on the paper, and anoint the 4 corners and the center of the paper with Crown of Success oil. Fold this on half once TOWARDS you, then fold it in half again, TOWARDS you. Set aside.

    Take the purple taper, and your pin or nail, and inscribe your name, plus your command UP (from base to wick,) one side of the candle. For example, “John Doe gets a job now.” Make sure to use the PRESENT tense, and to avoid negatives. For example, “John do is not unemployed anymore,” is a bad command, as is “John Doe will get a job soon,” because, well, with that one you are using the future tense. If you are confused, please CONTACT ME, and I will help you. Please note, if you are a Chinese spammer, do not contact me or click my contact links to get contact with me. I get a lot of Chinese porno and I really don’t like porn. πŸ˜‰ So, uh, cease, or I will send your spam to the Chinese authorities cuz according to the news they don’t like you marketing porn, either…heh heh heh. πŸ˜‰ This also goes for all spammers, but the last 3 months have been all Chinese spammers, so…all people of all nationalities need not send me mortgage quotes, viagra, or porno or any other form of spam. I report it all…and I get very mad at it, so…don’t aggravate the occult mastermind.

    Anyways, digressing back to what I was discussing, lol…

    Now, anoint your candle with Crown of Success oil with 9 pulls upwards (from base to wick,) roll this in your gold glitter or sprinkle the gold glitter on it (if you have chosen to use this optional ingredient,) and place into your candle holder. If you need to use drippings to secure the candle to the holder, you may light your candle now. Place your name paper beneath the candle/candle holder, and place both of these into your fireproof container. If you have not yet lit the candle, do so now. Place both hands on either side of your candle, and envision yourself with a wonderful new job. If you have found a job you would like, and have not yet been hired, it is okay to envision yourself in this job (you are not harming anyone by specifying, lol.) As you envision yourself in this job, try to “push” this energy out of your palms and into the candle, until the candle feels “full.” If you don’t think you can “move” the energy, just holding your hands on either side of the candle and envisioning yourself in the new job, feeling how happy you are, knowing you are successful, etc, for a few moments is fine. Now say, “(Your full name,) is happy and successful, (Your Full name,) is employed in a wonderful job, with his/her success increasing each day.” (Now if you are casting for yourself, you use the first person starting at this next point, but if you are casting this spell for another, use the second-person,) “I am a magnet for success and employment. I find a profitable job easily and all business seek my services. My success and prosperity increases and grows each day.” You do not HAVE TO say the chant I give, any sort of command in the positive (not using negatives like no not or never,) and in the present tense will do – it is just some people aren’t very creative, so they want me to tell them what to say. If you are creative, YOUR chant will work just fine. πŸ˜‰ Finish the chant with “As is my will, so mote it be.” Allow the candle to burn out completely.

    Forme

    When the candle has burnt out, take your name paper from under the holder, and place a little more deers tongue on top of it, then also place your piece of pyrite and chunk of dragon’s blood on top, and attempt to wrap all this into a bundle using your red and yellow yarn. Everyone will want to know HOW much yarn to use, and off of the top of my head, say 3 feet (is that like 1.5 or 2 meters? I’m from the USA so I don’t know, lol) or so of both, and try to wrap this up using both of the colors of yarn simultaneously. Some of the deer’s tongue will spill out, but this is okay. Just try to wrap it like you would wrap up a ball of yarn…you know into a little ball, wrapping the yarn around and around it. As you wrap up the paper, deers tongue, pyrite, and dragon’s blood, again try to envision yourself happy at your new job, successful, etc.

    Once the package is tightly wrapped, place this into your yellow drawstring bag. Tie or sew the bag shut. If you have your own method for waking up a mojo bag, by all means, please use this. My easiest method of “waking up a mojo,” would be to do a sort of a baptism…but I want to stray AWAY from make this a Judeo-Christian spell (I have readers of ALL religions,) so I am going to say, drip a little water on it (Saying, “By water…”) then pass it through some smoke (incense, your cigarette smoke…preferably an herbal smoke, but even some sage smoke or lighting some deer’s tongue or Dragon’s Blood resin will work, then saying, “…by air…”) pass it through a flame (then saying “…by fire..,”) and then sprinkle some salt on it, (saying, “…and by earth,”) to bless the mojo through the 4 elements, then spit on it, and say “I do bless this mojo to waken and work for me, to draw success, prosperity, and employment to me.” Now anoint the bag with Crown of Success oil to “feed it,” and say, “As is my will, this mojo is awakened and alive and doing my will.” (If you want, add an “amen,” or a “So be it,” or any other sort of final thing you would like to close the “waking” ritual.)

    All you need to do to keep the mojo “alive’ is to feed it NO LESS THAN once a moon cycle, but preferably more like once a week. To feed the bag, simply place a few drops of Crown of Success oil upon it regularly.

    This mojo should be worn on your person when being interviewed or job hunting. It is okay to wear it on your person all of the time except when bathing if you so desire to do so. Ladies, you may keep this in your purse if you feel uncomfortable keeping it in your pocket or against the skin. Everyone may pin this under their clothing or keep it in a pocket. The best effect is to keep the mojo ON the skin, but many people find this inconvenient, so in a pocket is fine. πŸ™‚

    There will be questions, so contact me if you need to ask them!

    Blessings!

    ~Cat