Cat’s Rants: Confessions of an Occult Mastermind

The Return of Lost Items

August 14, 2010

Hello my Occulties,

Many of you had written in wanting me to share some spells, charms, or even “mystical practices” as one person put it for finding lost and misplaced items. I have more than one way of locating items I’ve lost, though I warn you the first 2 are Catholic in nature. This isn’t meant to offend my Atheist, Agnostic, or Non-Christian readers (these tricks work regardless of what religion you practice and work if you practice none at all,) rather I recount these 2 methods here solely on the merit that some readers will find them easy to use and in that, valuable to know how to do. 😉

If you lose an item, get a small length of string or twine, and as you tie this to a chair leg, say “Saint Dismas, bring me back my (name of lost item) and I shall set you free!” The item should turn up reasonably quickly, and when it does, untie the twine from the chair leg, saying “Thank you, Saint Dismas, for returning my (name of lost item) to me. Now I set you free.”

A “prayer for retrieving a lost item” once taught to me by a relative goes like this: “Saint Anthony, Saint Anthony, hear my plea! Please return my (name of lost item,) to me!” In my personal experience with this, additionally promising prayers to St Anthony should he retrieve the item often speeds its return.

Interesting St Anthony story… So, some time ago, I’d gone to a Halloween music festival (yes, it was awesome, thanks for asking,) and at the time I’d just gotten a new cell phone perhaps a week earlier. My companion and I had rented an RV (again, as I said, yes, it was awesome, thanks for asking,) and at the time I had about a pallette worth of tubes of 50 glowsticks each (um, probably in the neighborhood of 5000 glowsticks.) So, everything was, as you can assume, a huge mess, complete with 4 tripping kids I’d never met in my life who had found the eerie glow of my glowsticks irresistable and were now bumbling about my RV uninvited, and guess what your friend Cat did? She lost that phone. Well, after frisking the tripping kids I’d never met in my life (you all loved it and you’re welcome – not everyone gets a butt pat from me,) I said “St Anthony, St Anthony, hear my plea – return my cell phone to me!” Yeah, nothing. The tripping kids just sat down, cracked some glow sticks and were totally enjoying themselves now that the trauma of getting manhandled by a hot red head was behind them. 😉 So, all that night, I kept asking St Anthony to help me get that phone. The tripping kids did leave and I did have to go to bed, but before I went to sleep, I was like “C’mon St Anthony – I’ll say a novena to you if you get that phone back for me.” Nothing. The next day, I continued to plead with St A, but to no avail. I wasn’t exactly rich at the time (actually I had more money than compared to now, which is scary,) so losing a cell phone was a totally big deal. As night fell the tripping kids of the day before returned to my RV (apparently now they were rolling which made them even more dedicated to cracking all my glowsticks,) and having become accustomed to them – as they did spend a lot of time with me, and were camped near me so as to be wholly unavoidable, – I was like “You know what everyone?” Everyone kindly looked at me as I was making an announcement. “I’m gonna do it. I’m gonna promise something big and then if it doesn’t come back, I’m gonna forget about that phone. St Anthony, hear my plea, give my cell phone back to me, and if you do, I will buy your statue and say a novena to you!” Literally within five seconds, my cell phone falls out of the pocket of a sweatshirt belonging to the friend I brought with me and on to the floor. We looked in that sweatshirt before. The previously-tripping-now-rolling kids dropped their already slackened jaws in amazement, staring at the phone and then at me, as they were sitting between the two. One kid chewed on a glowstick, and remarked “Holy s***, I guess I shoulda gone to church and learned that s***.” I kindly told him not to chew the glowsticks, they have little bits of glass in them, and then I thanked St Anthony. I did buy him a statue, and I did say a novena to him – St Anthony that is, not the wasted kids! 😉

When I was in college, a Pagan/Ceremonialist friend told me that one way he would return lost items was to visualize his silver cord shooting out of his navel/solar plexus, and try to attatch this to the lost item, and visualize “reeling in” the lost item. I’ve tried that method with mixed results.

BUT of course, this is a HOODOO-LOVIN’ blog, is it not? So let’s turn to Hoodoo for some other mystical methods of returning our lost (and possibly stolen?) items.

Stolen items is an interesting one… I have seen a wagon wheel alternate of this, but I was taught to do this with a bicycle wheel. So, basically, you first determine how the thief or thieves entered the premesis. Presumably this will be a door or a window, so, you take a chip out of the frame of a door or window for each suspected thief. If you suspect you know the thief/thieves, write the name of this person on one side of the chip of wood (or whatever material,) you took out of the door or window frame, and if there are multiple people, use one chip of the window/door frame they entered through per chip. If you do not know who stole from you just write “Thief Of” on this side. Now, on the other side of each chip piece you write the name of the item stolen. Now, laying a bicycle on its side, wrap these chips to the spokes of one of the bike wheels using purple thread. When they are firmly attatched, spin the bikewheel counter clockwise nine times, and each time you have it complete a revolution, (for a total of nine turns of that wheel,) you say “(Name of Thief, thieves, etc,) bring me back my (name of lost item) this very minute or you have no peace!” The last turn of the wheel is spun hard so it does several revolutions (so, literally the first 8 turns are timed, the last is a hard spin) you repeat the command: “(Name of Thief, thieves, etc,) bring me back my (name of lost item) this very minute or you have no peace!” and then say “So be it.” Walk off without looking back. This is done every day for 9 days or until the items are returned, whichever comes first.

BUT, this is more focused on LOST not stolen items, so let me digress back… 😉

This is best done around the time you are going to be sleeping. Using a pin or nail, inscribe a white candle UP (base to wick) with the command, “(Your full name or full name of person who lost item) has (lost item) in his/her hands right now!” Anoint the candle in virgin olive oil, anointing UP (base to wick,) with seven strokes of your hand (preferably that one which you use to write with.) Sprinkle this with Queen of the Meadow (sometimes called gravel root,) five finger grass, and star anise – about equal parts each. Place the candle securely into a candle holder (and on a heat proof surface – often recommend placing these in pie plates to collect wax drippings.) Now taking a scrap of virgin paper (in other words, no one ever wrote on it,) with all edges TORN not cut, and using a black-inked pen write the name of the lost item 7 times, for example, if Hagitha McDumpity lost her wallet (I know, I make horrible fake names) she might write:

Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet
Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet
Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet
Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet
Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet
Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet
Hagitha McDumpity’s Wallet

or even simply:

My Wallet
My Wallet
My Wallet
My Wallet
My Wallet
My Wallet
My Wallet

Now, turn the scrap of paper so that the names are running vertically and write across this seven times, a command like this

In my hands right now
In my hands right now
In my hands right now
In my hands right now
In my hands right now
In my hands right now
In my hands right now

Spit into the center of the paper, and take a pinch of each of the herbs you had annointed the candle with (Queen of the meadow, five finger grass, star anise,) and place this so it sticks to the spit. Fold in half towards you. Fold in half again, also towards you. Place the folder paper beneath the candle.

Picturing your lost item in your hands, say “(Lost item,) in my dreams, in my mind, in my hands. (Lost item,) return to me, it is my demand!” Then say “So be it.” Allow the candle to burn out. The name paper may be buried or hidden by your front door or left near your head as you sleep. The spell is supposed to either draw the item back to you by positive chance or show you were it is in a dream. I will admit, I’m not in love with this spell…from the herbs it has it is more based on amping up your intuition and luck than it is actually pulling something back to you. It WAS a spell I made when I was around 20 (judging from the guy who’s last name I had applied to my name in the margin with some really dorky hearts on the page, that is,) so, while its based on Hoodoo and it has worked in the past for me, its not the best work I ever did at all. Hey, I only have like 8 lost item spells that are actual spells, so I figured it was at least simplistic, which is usually something people like. 😉

A more traditional spell for a lost item (and not of my creation or from my days of juvenalia when dinosaurs roamed the planet and people still knew what the Macarena was,) is to make a cross (or x shape) in front of the enterance to your home in the dirt for three successive days at sundown. On the first sundown you make the x and demand your lost item back in the name of your mother’s family. On the second sundown you demand your lost item back in the name of your father’s family (ie, your mother’s immediate family before she had children, and your father’s immediate family before he had children,) and on the third sundown you demand your lost item back in the name of yourself. It should be back within the next 6 days after this third sunset.

Well, alrightey kids, that’s a lot for today…hope this tip of the iceberg on finding lost objects through magic has been enlightening. 🙂

~Cat

Plagiarism is bad. I will eat your soul and go Godzilla on your house if you try it. Everything is copyright OriginalNinjaCat, all rights reserved
Questions You’ve Asked Me: Summer 2010 Edition

August 12, 2010

Good afternoon my Occulties,

Its time again for me to answer some questions I’ve been receiving in the newest edition of “Questions You’ve Asked Me.” So…without any further ado, let’s get to some questions!

Q: Why do some jar candles/seven day candles explode?

A: Presumably, if we were to just apply basic science (there are other reasons, but let’s dispose with this first,) this could be caused by a bubble or defect in the glass chimney which has tried to expand or contract when heated by the heat of the candle inside of it, causing the glass to rupture, and also occiasionally, with certain manufacturers candles of this kind, the metal from the clip which holds the wick can heat a defect in the glass at an even higher degree of heat which can cause the glass to shatter.

On the magical side of the equation, this is often believed to signify that the work has broken down a large barrier or to expect a great break through in the work. Less often this is interpreted to mean that someone may be working against you, and they have “killed” your spell.

Q: Can you define what you mean when you say “You can’t explain your reasoning to a spell”?

A: Sometimes, mostly in spells of love or revenge, people will try to find a “loophole” in the guidelines given (especially no-initiating of first contact with love spells,) and think if they can explain this to me, or to someone else that the spell will not “punish” them for doing something they aren’t supposed to. In reality, there is no way to “cheat” on the rules of the spell, there are not likely to be exceptions to a rule, and the petitioner (person requesting spell,) does not want to admit to themselves that their actions are to blame for damaging the spell or halting its progress.

What is going on here is similar to someone pouring a bucket of water on a fire and then trying to tell the fire it can’t go out because its going to rain anyways, and so it isn’t a big deal if you put water on it…and expecting that fire to keep going as if nothing happened.

Q: When cursing someone, can I stipulate that this person not be physically harmed?

A: Yes, you can narrow it to emotional, psychological, and/or social harm, or even to allow physical harm so long as it will not permanently disable the target.

Q: I had left a figural candle in/near my window, and the sun melted it before I could use it. Is this a sign that I shouldn’t do the spell?

A: Actually its a sign that you need to take more care where you store your spell supplies. Wax left in a warm window can melt or disfigure. Candles need to be stored in a cool, dry place until used. Any candle stands a strong chance of becoming damaged if improperly stored, regardless of what spell or type of spell it is intended for.

Q: What if someone other than my target comes in contact with a “trick” I’ve laid for my target?

A: Its always your best idea to “name” the powder, oil, item, etc, so that it is laid only to effect your target. To do this, I would recommend that while you lay the trick out, you say, in the present tense, avoiding using negatives (no, not, never,) your intention and who it is intended for. For example, let’s say I’m laying a trick with anointing oil on the handle of car door. I might say, “Jimbo Florgenstein, the more you try to resist loving me the more you love me,” using your index finger or a q-tip (I don’t let my darker oils for cursing to touch me if I can avoid it) to stroke the oil onto the handle. I’d recommend saying the same command a specific odd (3, 5, 7, 9) number of times. This is how you name a trick for its intended target. The idea behind that is that if anyone other than your intended target comes in contact with the trick, that this person will not be affected or would be perhaps only negligably negatively effected.

That said, I still stand by that the best idea when laying a trick is, not only to name it for the intended recipient, but, if at all possible, to lay the trick where only the intended target would be apt to come in contact with it.

If you are worried about a non-target being affected by making contact with a trick, you can also perform a cleansing and blessing on the person you believe has become an unintended victim.

Q: Can I have sex and do magic at the same time?

A: While there are instances of Sex Magic (ie using lovemaking to raise energy,) I’m for some reason thinking you might mean like screwing and lighting candles and incense on an altar as you do. I guess, my main concern for you there would be fire accidents or the altar knocking over, but if you can keep your concentration while you do it, and your partner is into it, I see no problem with that.

The instances I can think of where sex magic is used in hoodoo… Well, there are spells where you try to collect semen without orgasming yourself or wiping yourselves down with a rag after lovemaking and using this rag to capture that lover; spells for gathering pubies, and menses, and sorts of sexual and groinal area items. Visualization during these encounters, and the raising of energy and focus of intent could definitely improve the materials collected making the spell you utimately use them in all the more powerful.

Q: Can I eat food offerings I’ve left for a saint/spirit/diety?

A: In certain instances it might be part of a ritual (sort of like “dining” with the being,) but generally no. By eating food or consuming a consumable offering you’ve given to this being, you are literally doing the equivellant of coming over to my plate and eating off it when I am your guest. Its incredibly rude. I do not suggest showing such poor manners to a being you are requesting help from is in your best interest. So…if its not part of the ritual (there are some the specify you eat a part of the food,) then definitely do not eat the food you gave to someone else. 😉

That’s all for now, occulties!

~Cat

Plagiarism is bad. This is all copyright OriginalNinjaCat, all rights reserved.
A Final Thought – Let the Crazy Lady Have her Fantasy! I don’t care!

August 12, 2010

Hey guys,

I just wanted to let you know if Catherine Ann Manfredi (the woman who changed her name to “cat yronwode”) wants to antagonize me from afar because her arguments and claims against me let her know she’s too much of a psychopath to do anything but hide behind her zombies and yes-men and in her forum where she can artistically edit anyone’s post to suit her ego, then… I’m afraid I can’t care. I don’t even respect someone like that. If she even had the salt to confront me just once, directly, “ear to ear” or “eye to eye” (we’re on different sides of the country so face to face would be hard,) or even attempted to enlighten me PERSONALLY and privately that she had a problem before all this, I would gladly have settled it peacefully and no one would have had to make a complete ass out of themselves my pretending that I want to be them.

I mean, let’s look at this shall we:

For about 2-3 years (perhaps more,) she’s berated me and spoken ill of me behind my back. She should really ask who her friends are, because several people she thought were her friends have been better friends to me and repeated much of what she’s said, done, etc directly back to me. Never once has she said to me PERSONALLY all those years why she thinks I’m awful.

She then publishes a childish little diatribe on her “forum” about me that only the insane could believe.

When I confronted her (privately and on this blog) for publically posting false and defamatory comments about me, her sole reaction was to publish my full name – I guess in the hopes that the whole like five of you who didn’t know I use my first name as an inital and my middle as my familiar (in fact for me to call Ms Manfredi by Ann, which is her middle name, is as apt as her calling me Kristen) would somehow make her look like less of a psychopath who has a jealous and insane crush on me or something. I guess she forgot that in doing such things she has proven to her entire clientele that she feels its appropriate to give out your full names and contact details to the entire Lucky Mojo forums, and anyone else, as she sees fit, and also so that she could let you all know that if she dreams up some wild and crazy story about you, she’s going to try to publish that on the internet in the hopes someone as obviously lacking in sanity as she is might believe her fantasies about you.

I’ve also heard that she calls the garden shed in her back yard a church.

So, fuckit. This fight is so lame it makes a flaccid penis look like a ten-point stiffy. I’m enjoying all of the info and support you’ve all given me, and I do appreciate those of you who have sworn to boycott any products associated with her (I’m flattered and she will just out your full name worldwide to whoever she pleases and make up crazy fantasies about you, so…its probably your best idea,) but this fight is lame. I can’t even pretend to be mad about it now because its so ridiculous that I spent an hour laughing last night that some old chick out in Cali wants to believe I’d actually want to be her. I’m laughing that she has people around her who are also so emotionally unstable as to make up stories to make themselves feel important like she does. Its sort of cute, really. I mean, I went to high school and middle school, so thanks for the trip back in time because its been just like that here.

Unfortunately, her antics are not even funny enough to get her own catagory of psycho like Fluffy Dandilion of “Cat VS The Nut” fame. I still get told that Fruitbar and I’s fight is an internet classic.

And all I can say, haters are gonna hate. That’s what they do. I’m going to shrug and just presume some lady in California seriously needs to adjust her meds (or get on meds.)

Now, if you don’t mind, I’m gonna go apply my “limited” knowledge to helping people, because that’s what I do, and from what my inbox, my comments area, and my clients directly tell me, I do a fucking kickass amazing job at it. Hate to see what my full capacity is if this is me “limited.”

~(Ninja)Cat (not to be confused with Cathrine Ann Manfredi, aka cat morningwood, aka cat yronwode, etc.)

PS- cat y, I said a prayer to St Dymphna for you last night (the Saint to help the mentally ill,) and will continue to do so until you get your head straight. You shine on, you crazy diamond – I feel bad for you. I really actually do. I hope you get some rest and feel better, okay?

PPS- Writing a Questions You’ve Asked Me article, which should be up sometime tonight! 😀

Did you want to read part one? Click here.
Open Letter Regarding Forum Post by Cat Y

August 11, 2010

Sorry to break the silence with something foul my dears.

Since this public posting went up to defame me, I felt I should post it up and give my response.

Several clients alerted me to this blog post on Cat Y’s forums. Apparently someone had complimented my blog, feeling it was hers. I have bleeped out my surname for privacy reasons of my family:

Cat,

Several of my clients just sent me this from your forum.

by catherineyronwode » Tue Aug 10, 2010 5:05 pm

The mixing up of me — catherine (cat) yronwode — with the woman who runs originalninjacat is ENTIRELY a plan and design of HERS. Her name is not cat or catherine.

She took the name cat (and the false appelation “original”) on her web site in order to make herself more well-known than she had any right to be, based on her limited skills and knowledge at the time.

She was a customer of mine — under her real name, and not cat — when she first started out. Early on at her site she displayed a photo of a large order of products she had bought from us — still sitting alongside the very same cardboard box in which we had shipped them to her! — but she had turned all the oil bottles backwards, so you could not see the Lucky Mojo labels, and she claimed that these were her own products. She is anything BUT “original.”

To be clear, my name is Kristen Catherine ****. My mother’s name is Christine. Like my brother Thomas Michael ****, who is called Max, or my paternal grandmother, Jessie Marjorie ****, who goes by Marge, I go by my middle name. So, yes, my fucking name IS CAT. I have gone by this nickname for far longer than I’ve even known of you or would have had any reason to have contact with you. Its not even an uncommon nickname.

My site name or handle, originalninjacat, is actually borne in early 1997, long before you and I ever met. It actually was the nickname I got from my friends in college. Since NinjaCat was taken in 1997, I added original. It is my drunken alter-ego from college. So…if you would like me to confirm that with all the people I went to college with so you can satisfy yourself that my name CAT doesn’t come from love of you, feel free.

I did used to use your products in my work, and that’s what the caption said under that photo from 5+ years ago when I did still use your items. I’ll have to go into my old hard drive, but I believe I have a still shot of my own homepage. I used to recommend your shop as the only place to buy legit goods.

My “limited” skills owe no thanks to you. I never took your class and have spoken with you on the phone perhaps 3 times in my life.

I’m sorry I didn’t learn Hoodoo from you, and I’m sorry that I actually looked up to you for a short time in my late 20’s. You mistook my looking up to you for idol worship, apparently, which it never was. I don’t know where you got that I named myself after you, which is so egocentric as to be frightening. And, finally, if you really resented when I sent business to you or used your products in my work, I wish you’d said something 5+ years ago when I still did either of those things.

Have a nice day,

~ K. Cat ****

Seriously, readers – this woman thinks I named myself after her. I’m going to go call my mom and ask her if she knew Cat Yronwode while I was in the womb or crapping myself. Since my mom was in New Hampshire that whole time, and caring for toddlers, and isn’t into the occult, I have to wonder. I mean, I would provide friends I’ve had from childhood and family as references, but anyone who believes what that woman wrote is too blinded by her own egomania as to be of no worry to me. I do actually go over where the nickname comes from, by the way: http://originalninjacat.typepad.com/my_weblog/2007/08/do-spells-backf.html (You’ll have to scroll down.)

I’m sure Ms Yronwode will be in shortly to accuse me of plagiarism for having the cockandballs to quote her calumnies against me.

I was a customer once, cat y. I never asked how to use your products from you. In fact, you even said on your site at the time that “real rootworkers” and practitioners buy from you all the time. I didn’t think purchasing ritual materials from you made me some sort of weird stalker trying to be you, but I’ll take that into consideration the next time I purchase from a person named Cat, which every Catherine in the occult is usually called “Cat” so, I will probably have some difficulties avoiding the confusion that by sharing a name with another person (by my mother’s design and not my own,) I must want to be them.

That goes for the rest of you – if you are a “Cat” or a “Kat” and not cat yronwode, she has the name now – we all have to change our very common nicknames, especially if we like the occult or ATRs. Anyone called Cat or Kat or who isn’t Cat Y is COPYING HER. We are not original. That reminds me, too, my dad is a Michael, and so I’m going to have to let him know that Michael Stipe, Michael Douglas, Michael Nesmith, and Micheal Learned are currently fighting it out for that name and we better get my dad to change his name so he doesn’t get in a copyright dispute with the rest of the Mikes and Michaels. Jeez, my mom is getting sued for being named Christine which she obviously stole from the Stephen King masterpiece about an evil car even though it was printed when she was in her thirties.

Clients and readers, here you go, for the last time, I’m not “cat yronwode” and I didn’t change my name to be a Cat (its my middle name.) Yeah, the Ninja Cat is actually me after several shots of tequila. Its not about cat y, even if she believes everything is.

The only person I want to be is myself. I have done my best not to publicly flame other practitioners other than Fruity Dantalion, and you know…I think its sort of sickening that someone would publicly flame me for having a common nickname or thinking that made me want to be her. This is so ridiculous I feel dirty having even had to lower myself to respond, but honestly, I did refer so much business to her store, it makes me sick that this is what she’s convinced herself the reason was. I don’t expect Karma to come in here and say anything, but Karma, since I send people to use your products, or Stormsong.org, or Julia, or anyone – if that made you think I wanted to be you or something, I’m really sorry.

~C

PS – The comments are moderated. Any cat-y-zombies flaming me because they do just want to be cat y are unwelcome to comment. Either have something intelligent to say (for or against me) and I’ll publish that, or you can just go eat shit and die because no one will ever see it. I’m sure the woman who wants me to want to be her will be flaming me amply on all internet fronts as is. So, to those of you who have a beef with me, REJOICE! because now you can talk shit about me all over the internets. 😉

KEEP TALKING SHIT, YOU’RE MAKING ME FAMOUS!

Did you want to read Part 2? Click here!
NSFW – Wax On, F*ck off!

June 11, 2010

For those of you who remember the REAL Karate Kid, and who are even old enough to know who the heck Ralph Macchio is (this guy was huge when I was in my single digits,) this is absolutely hysterical. From Funny or Die:
Random Occult Blabbery

June 2, 2010

Since I’d not had my normal spirit conjuring area available to me this weekend (well, technically I DID, but there was a 99.9% chance of being disturbed if conjuring there, which is very much a bad thing,) I went out in the middle of NOWHERE (wait, to most of you, I already live out in the middle of nowhere…so…it was even more extreme as in the dead center of a forest where I had to walk for a mile in the forest to get to the place I was at,) and I did some spirit conjuring.

That was a total trip and a half, people. I don’t know as I’d recommend this to the newbs amongst you (newbs should not eff with spirits anyhow,) but to those of you seasoned at calling things up in your basement/guest room/some part of your home, I must recommend it. It’s intense…it was like amping the experience up 300%. Either I just became 3x more clairaudient and clairvoyant from the energy in the woods, or the energy in the woods fed that being enough energy to manifest to such a degree that if The Ghost Hunters or kids from Paranormal State were there, they would have crapped themselves. (Actually if the kids from Paranormal State ever saw a real manifestation of even a few of the things they claim contact with they would long ago have crapped themselves.)

Now, now, peanut gallery of thou-shalt-not, and oh-no-you-can’t, I was a very good doobie and made sure to send back that which I’d called forth. I was not a jerk about it (really, that’s bad form – you get so much more accomplished with being pleasant,) but I was thorough. No need for people to claim I’ve left something bad hiding in my woods for you. I totally love where I live and love the woods. When it comes to my state (and this took place in my beloved homestate,) I do my very best to take only pictures and leave only footprints – and I don’t leave entities that may respect the hell out of me, but would love to terrorize you just hanging around. I’m better than that.

Which is something I’d like to talk with all of you about… You know, its one thing to leave spirits and entities all over your own property when you inhabit said property, but its your obligation to clean up and clean out all of that energy when you leave a place if you’re the one who put it there. What is up with this BS I see on my television where some horse’s butt is calling goodness knows what spirit up, and then just leaving it out there, or leaving some portal open for it to come around and eff with people? That’s so sad and irresponsible. Really. Its no different then me pouring loads of toxic chemicals all over the place, and broken glass, and some syringes filled with diseases and stuff all over a property and then acting like I didn’t just sell you a toxic waste pit. I would just like to say – and we all know I don’t want to pass the morality glass around, – but I just want to say if you can’t be responsible enough to both conjure and send back an entity, then you should not be effing with that type of work. It is not something to just play around with because you are bored and then just leave it out there because you can’t be bothered to send it back properly. If I have to see another “A Haunting” on Discovery where some couple moves into a place where there are all sorts of occult leavings and the next thing you know Little Johnny is possessed, I’m just going to scream. That’s sad, people. If you do it because you think its fun to terrorize the occult-ignorant, then you are also occult-ignorant…moreso than those you wish to terrorize.

You know, there are kinder ways to keep a property unsellable than to release malicious spirits onto/into it, so please keep that in mind if your intention is just to keep a property vacant.

Now, ahem, with that said, since I’m reasonably sure my spot in the woods was not ever used by white people for spell/magic, and only maybe (but not very likely) by the natives for such a thing, I was surprised by its raw energy. I am a big believer that any place in nature that contains some quietude has raw energy to it, but I am also an even bigger believer that spots which have been frequently used for spells or religious services have an even stronger energy in general, which is why I was surprised. I do not subscribe to the idea that just because a spellcasting spot is outside that it is better than an inside spot, but I do recognize there are those that do…and I can respect that.

Anyhow, don’t know if any of you have had some amazing spirit conjurin’ stories to share, but if you did, please do in the comments section. Sorry I had to be a bit vague on who I called upon and why I was there, but I was there for a client…so its none of your business and I can’t tell you. 😉

~Cat

UPDATED JUNE 10, 2010 TO ADD: I was not referring to a Hoodoo-based working here. The term “Conjuring” was used as a synonym to RAISING a spirit. Sorry for the confusion if you were confused. I am fully capable of using several paradigms of spellcraft and sometimes do use other kinds outside of Hoodoo.

*Comment Submission Guidelines*
Winners!!!!

May 21, 2010

The winner of my drawing is SJ (I will be emailing you shortly,)

Runners up are SP, and VG who will also be getting emailed shortly. 🙂

Thanks for participating everyone! 😀

~Cat
Oh Dear, It’s the Appearance of Mythical Beasts

May 17, 2010

Hey all,

While I’m LOVING all the contest entries, I’m a bit troubled with a few which seem borne of a few common mythological creatures of spellcasting….suchas:

The myth of a foolproof or guaranteed spell. Anyone who swears that a spell must work and is guaranteed to do so (as in there is no way it can fail,) is only making a fool out those who believe there is such a thing.

A supposed book of spells containing spells that have never been tested, but are just about guaranteed to work, etc, that will work… This is also a myth. Any book or tract of literature holding several spells that has stood the test of time (or even spells which have been around for more than the lifetime of he or she who authored them,) have all been tested. This place we inhabit in our conscious hours is reality and not a movie, so as Indiana-Jones and exciting as that sounds, there is no such thing. If the book says that’s what’s going on and its recently published (or an online publication,) then the author is simply trying to feed you bull. Furthermore, if I wanted to sell you a car I put together by theory alone that is guaranteed to work, would you buy it? What data am I basing my guarantee on if I never tried it, started it, tested it in some way? Hmmm… So…why would there be something with no data backing it up that’s guaranteed to work even though no ever tried it in the world of spells? That was a new one for me to hear.

A spell “guaranteed to overcome all spells” or “guaranteed to overcome even the worst circumstances or situations,” also does not exist. There are some kickass spells out there, but not a one of them are guaranteed, and the best ones generally aren’t all-purpose. There also is not a supportive spell that can be added to any spell regardless of its type to then guarantee the spell it is added to will then work…at least not one that I’ve come across in over 20 years of intensive study on spellcasting and the occult.

Money spells to win windfall large amounts with basically no effort on the part of the petitioner (person the spell is cast for,) also are just bull, IMHO. If you think you’re gonna light an orange candle that you put some Irish moss on, and win Powerball from that alone, there’s a bridge in Brooklyn I’d love to sell you. Even occultists who’ve been studying spellcraft for YEARS and have done very intricate and powerful spells (that cost them thousands in materials in 3 cases I know of,) have a hard time with accomplishing lotto wins through spellwork. I know more fail stories (with obvious implictations the spell had an effect, even to the person’s total failure, suchas several years ago an acquaintance of mine who claims he got all the Powerball or state lotto numbers in a DIAGONAL LINE on his ticket-paper because he bought several tickets “quick-pick” that were printed on one ticket, to up his manifestation chances,) than I know of amazing lotto winning spell-manifestations. This is not to say that money spells don’t work, just that too many people greatly exaggerate this type of money-spells’ ability.

~C

What happens if you steal, copy, plagiarize or in some way infringe on my copyright? Click here to find out!
I Told You I Was Putting On a Contest!!! WIN STUFF BY ENTERING!

April 30, 2010

Good Morning, Occulties!

So… I told you there was an super-cool contest on the way…and I said that a few weeks ago. I know, you all think I forgot. But no!

Here’s the backstory – I know you don’t care, but I’m going to tell it anyhow, and you have to be polite and pretend you care. 😉 Right around when yours truly had come up with a new idea for a contest, I broke my camera. Its a $450 camera that I’ve treasured like it was my own child since I got it for Xmas in like…07? maybe? Either way, its a Canon and years and years of whining for this particular model had finally paid off, only to break with what the internet tells me is a common malfunction for this model a few short years later. 😦 I don’t have $450 to buy a new one either. So….*whine* I have to use old images of my own….I know I have some free images from different places but they just aren’t as cool as mine. I thought “Maybe I’ll change this contest to a ‘Best Spell Picture’ contest,” but I rejected that thought after a week since…well, that would really not be super creative of me. It wasn’t my style.

Then I thought, “What if I do a ‘define thinking something to death,’ contest? But also rejected that idea. I realized I’d just have too many people saying the same things, and it would be hard to judge the “best” entry.

So…instead we’re going to have a just very simple, very basic contest. It is in fact SO EASY that you will fall over from the shock of how easy it is!

All you need to do is to send me a suggestion for a type of spell you would like to see on here. That’s it.

You may enter up to three times. Please send INDIVIDUAL EMAILS for each entry. You may email me by clicking here or emailing me directly using the “email me” link under the picture of the drunk cat, and filling in the needed information. The info I will need is:

*Your full name
*Your email address
*Your spell suggestion

If you are sending an email NOT using the contact form, please use the title SPRING 2010 CONTEST. Thank you.

No purchase is neccissary, this contest is open to all persons aged 18 and over.

The GRAND PRIZE IS: One free half-hour reading with me, $100 gift certificate to Amazon OR a $100 payment from PayPal, AND though you don’t really receive this part the prize in the sense that you aren’t the recipient of a new set of wheels, I am going to donate a FREE WHEELCHAIR to a needy person in your honor through FREE WHEELCHAIR MISSION. If that’s not totally awesome, I don’t know what is. 🙂

The 2 Runner-Up prizes are a $25 gift certificate to Amazon.com OR a $25 payment from me via PayPal.

Winners will be announced on the blog using your initials, and I will contact you via email privately. I will not publish your full name and/or location unless you expressly tell me that I can.

This contest runs from today (April 30th) until May 21 at 4pm Eastern time. Winners will be chosen on May 21 at 5pm Eastern. Winners will be determined by a random drawing.

So get those entries in to me people. Its time to win things and to give a needy person the gift of mobility. 🙂

What is not a viable entry? I need you to make realistic spell suggestions. If you put that you want a spell to change you into a werewolf or a spell to make you God, I will disqualify you, and send you a notice of disqualifying that entry. Also, people who have been told we are no longer working together due to their bad behaviors (harrassing, threatening, etc,) are also disqualified from entering.

If you have questions, please contact me to let me know.

~Cat

(Amazon.com, PayPal, and Free Wheelchair Mission are copyright their respective owners. The awards were decided by the author of this article, and not through any promotion by or request from the organizations above named.)
Mama Cat’s Pearls of Wisdom #23

April 19, 2010

A picture of Michael the Archangel placed over the door of your home will help keep troublesome spirits and those who would harm you away. When you place the image, you should say the St Michael Prayer:

“St Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly Host, thrust into hell Satan and all other evil spirits who wander the world seeking the ruin and destruction of souls. Amen.”

This will work for you even if you are not Judeo-Christian or Catholic.

HOWEVER, this is not a cure against common sense. 😉 Obviously, if someone is threatening you or trying to physically harm you, you need to call emergency services and/or police services.

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